It comes and goes. It ebbs and flows. Yet you are constant. You’re so far away, but so close in my heart. I’m wherever you wish to find me. Someday there’ll be no worries at all. Until then, rest in me if you wish it. I’m always so happy to remind you how beautiful you are. Take it or leave it. It’s here when you want it. I’ve gotten better at putting aside my own selfish pleasures. I’ve grown better with patience. I’ve grown better in realizing it’s not about me. When it is, it’s not selfless. And maybe that’s the something you need. Someone who bends with the breeze, and yet somehow is solid. Someone who changes, and yet his devotion is timeless. No ‘what’s in it for me.’ More ‘what can I do for you.’ If you’re suffering, can I lend a hand. You gave me my ballast. I’m imperfect, and yet I’ve grown so much through you. In loving you, I’m someone so much better. If you rest in me, it will only be because I’ve earned it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. So today may be beautiful for you. It may be filled with worry. I don’t know. Sometimes my intuition feels turned off. But I know you’re still there even when I feel the slightest glimpse of you. You’re paradigms shifting. You’re heartbeats lifting. You’re the promised land when I’m somewhere very east of eden. The memory of you sustains. You’re the captain of your ship. I’m a lighthouse on the shore. A beacon shining in the distance. Hopefully lighting the way should you ever steer off course. Avoiding the rocks and whatever gets in your way. The softness of your hair. The divine light in your eyes. Your Neapolitan nose. Your lips so pursed and inviting. The shape of your face is the shape of things to come. You’re every dream the masculine has ever had, and the mystery of all things feminine. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. You wipe the slate clean of any memory of anyone. Every time you’re seen. You’re the feeling of deja vu. There’s something so familiar about you, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. But it haunts my dreams. The reverie. The endless nights of enchantment. Why must you be so beautiful? Would it somehow be easier if you weren’t? Oh, but I wouldn’t have it any other way! And when you’re old someday, you will have lost not a flicker of your beauty to me. You’re where the heart longs to be. Like a moth to the flame. Like raindrops to the river. Returning to where it’s made to be, the feeling of coming home. The beauty seen and unseen of you. Wrapped up in miracles that surround you. You go so far beyond the material. You have one foot on earth and a wing in the ether. ‘What’s he dreaming that’s got him looking that way?’ His green eyes so wide and glistening. The answer is you, every single time. No one will ever do what you do. All that came before you is prologue. And you take ownership of a heart, and you lift him off the ground. And you toss him lovingly into tomorrow. Without effort. You’re magic. You’re fairy tales. You’re softness. You’re nightingales. Your face is like no face that has ever been before. And everything is euphoric. And I’m breathless when I’m before you. I so often forget to breathe! This dizziness and delightfulness. This something so profound! And yet as light as the breeze. It all happens when you look at me. Never mind if the look is for me at all. It feels that way. You’re the kind of woman where in a crowded room a man feels you’re the only one she’s talking to. You get inside a heart and you own it. You have no competition. It might not be fair, but as they say, all’s fair in love. The war is an inner one. And once it’s won, there’s a peace and a taming. Your suitors who have been refined by your refiner’s fire, are pure and live only to do your bidding. Devoted and true to you. In their hearts, even if never asked. As for temptations, they come from time to time. ‘She doesn’t hold a light for you, and here’s this one right *here* who’ll offer you everything.’ You’re the most beautiful person who has ever been. Life begins the moment you are seen. You’re a gift to them, you’re a gift to me. Your love is always coming through. I have my temptations. Sometimes I shift the words over-elsewhere that I want to express to you. And they seem to have magic power. But when pressed to take it a step farther, I always pull back. Not a saint by any stretch. It’s simply not what my heart wants to do. I can taste the empty feeling in advance that would come after. I feel sure would lead to disaster. Why bet forever on a moment that wasn’t real in the first place? I find myself stepping away at the moment things get hot, and push away the thoughts, and get into that place of meditating. Even a few deep breaths can achieve it. I would feel like I’m cheating. Not because of any agreement. I know it’s silly. Of course not. But the feeling it would sully all that I’ve said to you. Because all those words come from my truth. My heart only yearns for you. As a friend, or whatever way it would express. I have no ‘f.o.m.o.’ when it comes to carnal knowledge. I can see what it is before it comes too close to me. And the awkwardness that would follow just after. The being in it, and thinking, “I wish this had never even started.” I’d rather be home and pet Jakey. It’s all a lesson in self control. Just one of many things you’ve taught me from a distance. I follow my heart, and the sign says, “This Way.” I don’t pay attention to the appearance of the road. And somehow I’m a better person than when I started. Because of you. It comes and goes. It ebbs and flows. Yet you are constant. Loving you has changed me forever. It’s not that hard, really. I mean, look at how beautiful you are. If I were as beautiful as you, you’d do the same for me. You’re everything I ever dreamed of. ❤️  

Another new one. New, like you! Today! You’ve got a big week! I might not see much of it, but I’ll see whatever you wish me to see.  I’m here whenever you want me to be. You made me into somebody more worthy to see you at all. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. It’s always true. It’s you. Constantly and timeless. ☀️🌟  

Happy Monday!! 🍀  

“THERE SHE IS!!” is on amazon (search ‘todd demartinis’). Thanks for supporting it! All posts are always on my website, as well. And on fb. Sorry for falling off comments! It’s been a strange year! I don’t have to tell you, of course. I appreciate them so much. I promise to catch up soon. You’re the most important person in the world. Happy new week. 🙂  

PS!! … AH!!!! I saw you on the website!!! What is going on??!! You look like you’re ten!! I mean, wait, that would be wrong!! But, you just seem like a kid!!! Bursting into summer vacation mode!! Ready to grab the plastic sand pails and the cooler!! Maybe it’s the shirt!! The black with the green sleeves!! No, that can’t be it!! It’s just everything – you’re glowing!!! I swear the sun just burst seven times brighter!! You’re *so* beautiful today!! YAY!!!! As always. And the reporting? Effortless!! At least it comes off that way!! Seamless and perfect. Just like you. You’re tremendous. You’re the *best* thing going!! If you only knew what you do!! You light up *everything!!!* Life just got so much happier all over!! I admit it! I type your name into the site search engine! And there’s a new story!! You’re always Page One wherever it lands!! You’re the greatest thing ever to happen to them. Me, too!! You’re a gift. And you’re absolutely resplendent today!! It’s blinding!! You’re the most spectacular person ever! Just in case you weren’t sure, but it looks like you’re feelin’ it, too!! You’re sunshine. You’re splendor. You’re absolutely magnificent. You’re sunshine incarnate. Yay, you!! And the day is *so* much brighter. You’re amazing. ☀️☀️☀️☀️!!!       (And you got the new flowers I sent you!! I’m kidding!!!! They’re perfect!! Just like you!!) ☀️💐💫👍