I understand you’re hurting. Here we are, seemingly climbing our way to nowhere. You have the look of a lioness, protecting her cubs. You have the faith of a child. Your child’s heart. You set out to repair. Wounds that never heal. There’s a fever in the morning, sitting by an open window. Leave the windows open. In case I fly away. I never felt made for this world anyway. I so wanted to be loved. But I’m a broken toy, cast aside, in a box where broken things go. Could someone love me the way that I am? Send me back to God where I would feel a loving hand. The wind is so strong this morning. Have you noticed? It could almost carry me away, if I got a proper start, running through the sand. Like a kite. Sometimes the sky cries, too. Not everything is blue. If only I could be fixed. I’ll never be complete here. Do you feel it, too? The wind is blowing so strong. There’s got to be … something untouched. And yet it sees. Something that keeps record, of all the pain and the tears. Of all the loss. A scorecard of sorts. That cat I lost, who loved me so. I had no choice in the matter. I later learned he died alone. He had lost the will to live. Without me. I still dream of him. I ache for him. I know how he must have felt. I felt it, too. How can things be so cruel. The poverty, the power taken away. This world helps those who help themselves. Where is the god of the poor? In the golden coffers of the churches of the world? You give away your power. God’s no longer in you. You give your power to another who will instruct you. A third party situation. We’ll give you guilt, you give us money. Know the rules, know the rules. There’s got to be something better. I think I see my old friend. I’m sure it’s my old cat. Can you see him? He’s sitting near the fence. I have to call out to him. I think my fever is breaking. He’s black, with a fluffy white chest. Oh, that’s him! I remember that sound he would make! Oh, those green eyes. I thought I had forgotten. It’s been so long. I’ve got to call out to him. But my voice won’t make a sound. I love you. I’m so sorry. I wish you could understand. I had no choice in leaving you. I had no money at the time. I was powerless. I was poor. It was out of my hands. But I’ve carried such hatred and rage for the people who did this to you. People called family. They are nothing to me. They only brought me misery. It was you and me, alone. At that time. And they tore us away. Do you see me? I’m by the window. I’m over here! But my voice won’t make a sound. Oh! … You see me now. I love you. You came to take me home. I so didn’t want to see a person. I’m so happy that it’s you. Will you take me with you? I always knew God was in you. I never listened to what they say. I knew better, old friend. I wasn’t made for this place. Please take me with you? It’s so *good* to see you again. I never forgot you. I want to go home. Please? Let me go home. Let me go home with you. The wind is blowing so strong today. People are dying all over. I can’t stop crying. My fever is breaking. I’m sure it must be. The room is empty. I think I can manage this window. I’m crying so hard, I can’t even breathe. These tears of joy. I see you, old friend. I’m over here!! I’ll be down in a minute. There is God, after all. All that is hidden will be revealed. It’s true, after all. It was all true. I’m crying a river. It’s somehow good to let it all out. My fever is breaking. I’m sure I’ll be all right. I’ll be all right, old friend. Just give me a minute. I’m coming through. I see you. By the fence. You do! Oh, you do see me, too. Where did all those stars come from? Look! There’s Sasha, too! And Little Blue. You all came. For me. I love you. You’re all the love I’ve ever known. Let me leave my key, so they know where to find me. I felt so cold, and now I feel so warm. It’s so *good* to see you again. I love you. I love you so very much. I never dreamed this day would come. It’s all real. It’s all so real. You never forgot me. After all. ❤️

…

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You’re loved. In the way an animal loves you. ❤️ my book, “THERE SHE IS!!” – search amazon (“todd demartinis”)