All posts are not created equal! So, please forgive this Monday morning gushing between chapters!! That said! You’re coming up big! Don’t ask me how I know, but I can feel it! You haven’t been seen in what feels like forever! It’s probably only been since Friday, but that’s the effect that you give! You’re genius. You’re brilliant! If you’re behind the scenes, well, that’s how I know everything will be okay. As long as you’re pulling the strings! In a world where it’s hard to believe anything. The markets will get all excited over the promise of a vaccination. I see people clinging to hope as their baseline is fearing. Everything is veiled. Even Venus is taking a trip backward in the sky. The planet of love! My favorite one, go figure! Shh!! Don’t tell the others! I don’t want them to feel bad! But, I loved seeing Venus in the evening sky. The way she shined so brightly! It was impossible to not pick her out! And make a wish! Now she’s disappeared, into the night. When she returns she will resurrect as a morning star. That day is done, she says, and another will start. In between there’ll be all this dreaming and getting lost. Nobody knows where to put their love it feels. There’ll be a lot of reassessing, and more than one’s share of stressing. Empires will fall, and new ones built around the decay. They need solid ground. It’s a good time to turn off the noise and reevaluate. Words can be so convincing. Including mine at times, I know! Ah!! Take them with a grain of salt if you don’t feel the love. Like those snappy film-noir lines! I think it was “King Creole.” Elvis responds to a come-hither come-on by Carolyn Jones. He sneers a little (he had a famous sneer, after all), and said, “Your heart wouldn’t be in it.” Without missing a beat, she replies, “You wouldn’t miss it.” Don’t you love film-noir repartee? But it’s later in the film, when she has fallen apart, and he attempts to save her and now he is dragged under, he recalls that moment. “You were wrong about the heart, by the way. There’s a girl I’m thinking of marrying because she has a heart to give me.” I’m going on memory. But, that’s the idea. Words are easy. People will say whatever it takes to get what they want. People are convincing. Never a better time to turn off the noise and breathe and get in touch with your heart. Somehow she knows the truth about things. She waits quietly – while the mind creates a reality based on outside things, said and seen. We’re allowed any choice while the heart waits patiently. We can look back and shake our heads, “Why did I go for that?” If only I knew how it would all turn out. And yet somehow, in retrospect, there’s this unshakable feeling that something deep inside always knew. I just didn’t want to listen. My mind and my wants were so on board with this! I wouldn’t have listened to anyone, never mind myself! And so we beat on, as Fitzgerald would say. “Borne back ceaselessly.” But it doesn’t have to be this way. Your heart is the perfect lover. He’ll let you make your choices, speaking softly a truth, and it’s your choice to listen. And he’ll be there when you come back again. “Oh, why didn’t I listen.” Your heart always forgives. It’s purer than that! Forgiveness implies a sin. There’s no sin to forgive. All lessons as you move up that celestial ladder. Your heart will always be there when you need her. Never abandoning. It’s love unconditional. How wonderful is that? And you have quite a heart! I can feel your power from a world away! It’s bigger than words or whatever masks we’re wearing. Things will all get sorted out. But right now it feels like a strong undertow pulling everything out. Don’t get pulled under. Sometimes it’s good to turn off the noise. There’s so much of it, more than ever. And in a quiet place, perhaps light a candle, if you’re into that kinda thing! And commune with your heart in silence. She always knows. She’s not trapped in time, she just creates a beat for it. You’ll make the right choices when you get out of your mind. Sometimes no choice is a perfect one, too. You’ll know what to do. You don’t have to listen to anyone, including me! Believe me! I know! I’m the *last* person you should be listening to at times, it’s not lost on me. Please never do – if anything you hear ever feels shaming. It amazes me how people to respond to such a thing! There was this guy on YouTube, … (yup, here comes the rambling) … and I felt a bit sorry for him. He had it pretty tough, and I feared he had very low self-esteem. There was this *clicking* sound in his videos that it impossible to hear anything. I never said a word, as his videos allowed no commenting. Another sign perhaps of somebody sensitive. Anyway! A new video came up, and he went on a rant. “Some of you emailed me and told me about this clicking noise! Um, let me begin by telling you there are people *suffering* and *dying* in this time of pandemic! And if the only thing you can talk about is a clicking sound …” Well, it went on and on. But, here’s the irony! The poor guy, his videos usually had 3 “likes” and 5 “dislikes.” On *this* one, you might think it would be more of that same ratio but magnified on the thumbs-down side. But, no!! He got a ton of likes! Ones he normally never receives. And just observing that showed me something valuable. People react to being shamed. What is it? I don’t know! Maybe something in them unconsciously says, “Oh, yes! That’s so true! *I’m* not one of those people being discussed! I’m good through and through! To prove it, I’ll validate and like what I’m hearing! … I’m certainly not one of *those* people.” So, I thought, what would have happened if this guy had been somebody else? Same situation. Just someone in a happier place. Perhaps that whole rant would have been absent, and instead replaced with something brief, in the space of a second. Like, “Hey, guys! I got a few emails that there’s this clicking noise that makes it impossible to hear what I’m saying. It was my ceiling fan! I kept it going to be sure I had *one* fan in the world! (*chuckle, chuckle!*) But now that I see how it is, I’ll keep it off so you can hear me. Okay! Let’s get back to things …” And that would be that! It was valuable for me to observe, as it became vividly apparent we make our own choices. Our own karma, or whatever you wish to call it. But perhaps the most surprising part of all is how the negative drew more people in. The likes went *up* not down. As a result of shaming. You’d only catch it if you were consciously paying attention. Otherwise, it just slips through. And we react. And get on board with who’s narrating. “I’m not one of *those* people, yes! Let me click and validate.” But, the *feeling*. How do you feel when reading a tweet, or watching a video that has that effect. Again, you have to be monitoring, all the while! From my experience, we agree with the agitation being created… but we feel worse after. There was nothing *uplifting* about it. And you don’t have to look far to see that very dynamic play out, over and over again, all over the world. In a tweet. In a post. Or it’s news commentary and editorializing. Add to it that everyone is afraid and looking outside of themselves for help. And you have a sea of endless noise and gloom. Fear playing out in so many forms. Ah, it’s so nice to light that candle, and retreat to delicious silence. Your heart, your faithful lover through thick and thin, is always waiting for you within. Everybody’s saying everything! And that’s coming from *me*!! Of all people! The nerve! The guy who never shuts up!! Thank you so much to you who enjoys the rambling. I’m as flawed as they come! I’ve been humbled a million times over. Once or twice this morning! And the day’s just getting started! But I only feel I failed when I agitate. Sure, I feel better, for a minute. Of all the gushing over-the-moon opining, I never regret that! It’s those handful of ones where I had an edge. Calling out certain people and things. And even *if* I hit it on the head – and I’m not saying I did – but, so what? What good did it do, really? If it becomes a post that gets a few more views, but doesn’t bring any love into it? In the same way people yell, “I don’t want to be the one who spreads this virus! And is responsible for taking a life!” You can pick through a lot of righteousness and shaming coming at you from all over the place. But, in that same vein, I don’t want to spread agitation. I’d like to spread a little love. It’s so important to monitor what we’re feeling, no matter what it is somebody is saying. Your mind might latch on, but how do you feel inside? When you feel love and uplifted, anything is possible. If the past is illusion, and the future is something only hoped for … if all that is real is the present, as they say, why not fill it with good feeling? And that creates the outcome. The choice between shaming and sharing. I’ve seen enough to know that, even though the “likes” went up on that post with the “clicking” rant, nobody is going to feel great for very long after, especially its author. Water finds its own level, after all. I’m as guilty as they come, I know. So, if there is always both light and dark in this world, and we’re made of both, at least LEAN to the light, as they say. Try and fail and try harder again. I love you so. Ah, who doesn’t!! When you’re not seen it feels like eternity!! Clouds stretching on for miles! “Well, find the happiness in yourself!!” I’m trying! But you’re a lot prettier than me!! And smarter! And everything about you is magic!! Please be kind! You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would ya?? (*Boom!* *Smash!* — going for the Batman effect!) You make people happy! Everybody should fall in love if only once! If their soul is ready! I would have never picked anybody else! Regardless of the outcome! It so simply had to be you. And you’ve transformed me. On the inside, I mean. And because of that, results are starting to flower from seeds planted around me and in the vicinity of me. I’ve learned what love really is. Sure, there’s the occasional pining, but love doesn’t want for anything. Love loves for its own reasons. I have so little to do with it. I’m a conduit. And I get to feel that feeling!! But the ‘me’ gets whittled away, a little more every day. And I don’t miss him at all, really. He was never very happy. I guess that’s what makes it unconditional. Those little hidden – or not so hidden – conditions. ‘As long as you don’t cheat on me …’ That’s usually up front and obvious. ‘As long as you don’t get fat …’ That one is usually hidden. Or, ‘As long as you make *this* much money,’ ‘as long as you don’t age terribly,’ and on and on and on. They don’t exist until there’s someone leaving, and worst of all, they give a reason that isn’t based in truth. Words said on the way in, and words said on the way out. What was real in the middle? And yet we’re clinging to words all the time. I’d be so happy to be a friend. A love unconditional. As long as you don’t cheat on me? Who am I to say what you’re doin’! Or whom! Ah, excuse me! Let’s keep it proper! If you got fat, I’ll take the blame! It’s all this healthy veggie cooking I’m doing for you, but you know how I love carbs! Argh!! If you got old, I’d count my lucky stars. It meant I got to spend so much time with you!! There’s no “as long as” in the open, or secret. Except I’ll love you ‘as long as’ you ever ever allow me to. I’m not pious. I’m not a saint. Far from it, but we *know* this part already! Why beat a dead corpse? “Dead corpse” is redundant, Todd – I know! But who’d want to beat a horse, as the expression goes! That just sounds horrible! But it’s love like that. You taught me how to love. I can’t thank you enough. So often I feel you in my heart. It’s such a beautiful feeling. It lives outside of the noise and agitation. When all is quiet and I’m deeply breathing, you’re the thing that sticks around. This free-floating love, in me and all around me. It’s everything about you. You are magic in the air. Some days that’s all I need to feel restored. Going on the memory of you when you’re not around. Turns out you’re everywhere!! You’re in my heart. And so many love you that way, too. What’s with all this ‘wanting’ business, anyway. If you knew me, and you could see how much better I am today, and I told you it’s because of you, you’d smile, I think. You’d see with your own eyes just how powerful is your reach. In a material world, the feeling you bring is the realest thing. This all comes from you. You’re bigger than the noise, or any agitation or shaming. You’re everything joyful and fun! And silly and uplifting. You make life so much happier. You’re a gift. And if ever allowed to call you a friend, you’re that special and so treasured one. There’s nothing wonderful you’re not capable of giving. Even when you’re away, you’re giving all the while. ❤️