*Hey, guys! I’ve got to be off line for at least the first half of September. Thanks for being so supportive! I love you guys. You’re amazing! And things will only get better. Lots of love your way. And thank you.* 😊 

Spectacular. I saw. ☀️ … Anyway, I thought I really had to give a better explanation, so here it is: I’ve got to lay off line the first part of September. It’s not because the feeling isn’t there as strong as ever. It is. I’m just really confused in my head. Over what I should be doing. And I’ve let a lot of stuff slip. And this time I’m determined to create a new lifestyle that’s more productive instead of talking about it. And it means I can’t really watch right now as much as I used to. But it does mean I can make some video (finally) and get that up by the end of the month as I’d promised. I did check the site and saw the clip. You look so sensational there are no words. And I thought, once I was able to remove my eyes, that is — “ah, there’s the picture frame. Well, at least you *finally* know how it is.” That’s all I’ve ever really needed is an answer. I mean, with regard to the prose. You like it, or you don’t. “Stop,” or, “it’s okay, keep going if it makes you happy.” (It does.) You know I have my dreams, but I’m only hoping for friendship realistically. “Realistically!” Right! 🙂 It’s just the confusion coming on while the stress is pouring on, too, in other ways. Ah!!! Then I saw the picture in the frame is of something else entirely! I’m not rooting against anyone. I’m not. I just got it in my head if I had any chance of ever hearing hello from you – even if like way way way in the future – it could only happen if you were single or seeing someone new. See? Without knowing anything, I can build up all sorts of stuff in my head. Anyway, that’s my problem, not yours. I kind of have to break my old patterns to up the level of being the kind of guy you’d *want* to be friends with in the first place. I mean, I think my heart is pretty good. But if you saw this place! I mean, the Boston one. There’s *so* much I gotta be doing. And training physically, too. I let all this stuff slide. And then the creative stuff. Anything creative I post on the weekly vids, you *know* it’s all about you. But I want to be your cheerleader. Writing gushing or uplifting posts – or both most often – to say, “Hey! I see you! You’re amazing! You were so wonderful today.” And I’m afraid I’m going to have to miss out on that to *do* the things that will make me even more valuable as a friend in the first place – maybe/kinda/hopeful someday, I mean. Hey, it’s a dream. It’s the only dream. It’s the one that’s had me flying so high the last 25 months. I searched my heart. “Well, what *else* excites you like that? What other dream that could give you that motivation.” I’m still waiting for an answer. So far I got nothin’! It’s you. You know it. Why lie or play games about it. “Cobra Kai” got in my head a little. I’m so afraid of coming off as that nerd who says, “I’m the kind who admires you from afar.” Before she’s like, “Ew, gross.” I gotta say I cringed a little when I watched that scene. “Holy sh*t. Is that guy *me??*” I was promised I’m so not him, but it got me worried all the same. Then all that alpha stuff about girls liking guys who treat them like crap. I wouldn’t even know how to play that game effectively. You’d giggle in my face if I even tried it would be such a lie. Anyway! My prose has gone to sh*t, can you tell? But the feeling? Oh, wow. Never worry. It’s there. It’s even worse, because I can’t get it out! I can’t express it properly and let it fly through my fingers. This kind of sacred release that happens. Since Saturday, I start typing and for the first time I censor myself and don’t post anything at all. Anyway, I guess it’s all telling me it’s time to get to work. All this stuff I’ve been avoiding. And then the fun stuff, too – filming and all in late September. I still don’t know what the hell it’s going to be really. My intuition hasn’t been all that good. I mean, I guess I feel you might look. If only out of, “Hey, I gotta keep an eye on this guy. Make sure he doesn’t lose his screws completely.” I promise I won’t. I’m a teddy bear, really. … ah, I’m about to delete all this! See what I mean? I lost my touch! F**k it, I’ll post it anyway. You should at least know where I’m at. You’re so incredible beyond words. You look *so* spectacular this morning. And now I’ve got that punching bag that looks like an angry guy and boards to chop showing up at some point to add to the new routine. Shoulda never let me watch that show!! 🙂 The mother is now ‘older you’ and the daughter is ‘younger you’ when I was watching. I almost reset my tinder to the radius miles of where you grew up, just in the hope of meeting someone like you. Like anyone could be you, of course. Just stupid stuff guys do in the hope of replacing the feeling. Maybe someday just tell me if I’m *totally* crazy. This going-on-one’s-intuition stuff takes some serious intestinal fortitude. Anyway, you know you always got a friend here. Not that you need any more, I’m guessing! I mean, you *are* pretty amazing. But if ever you’re looking for another one, where it’s hopefully already proven it’s a friend who would die for you and never let you down, I hope I can at least slip my resume in the pile. You’re the most spectacular woman ever. Always and forever. And all that stuff. Wow, my prose sucks. But know my heart is always in it!! Okay. F*-king alarm went off again next door, and I shut off ALL the power to the house. And it’s still going off. It’s fucking Stephen King “Cujo” or “Christine” sh*t, except in this case an alarm system. And that’s just the tip of my problems right now. (Sorry, this is how I talk when my poetic license is revoked and I’m all stressed out to the core. – hence needing to *really* get down to brass knuckles and get shit done in September). Lot of cursing there, sorry. I know something about you and New Jersey, though, so maybe you’re like, “It’s cool. Glad you speak the language.” 😃 You’re really the most beautiful person ever. Please never doubt it, even if it gets quiet over here over the next couple weeks or so. Thanks! You’re that woman in the painting. That girl’s dream she had of me. I always say it. I just had no idea anyone could be so beautiful as you. Happy September in advance!! ❤️ Not spell checked, or checked for grammar cuz I have to get back into this mess!! 😊🌟