Woken up in the middle of the night to give emergency press conference for Kateland Holdings! You know how it is! Important people rarely sleep! (very attractive youngish middle-aged man takes the podium, ahem … ) : “Good morning. Really need some coffee. Oh, I’m live? … Friends, we at Kateland Holdings are very upbeat! You see, we’ve never been into the panic game. Crying game, though, that was a pretty cool movie for its time. We’re holding for the long term. Weak hands are letting go. Strong hands stay on board. We could have never gotten as far as we have without strong hands. So, like I said, we’re feeling very positive. She even wrote something about her joy of me getting vaccinated – ‘people she *loves!!*’ *sigh!!!!* – so what’s there to feel bad about at all? The future is pure joy.” Reporters juggling mikes in the air: “That tweet wasn’t about you!!” “Your little twitter page where you gush got no hits in a day!!” … I resume: “(absorbing the news) So, like I was saying, we are devastated. All hope has been lost. Janet Yellen is just mad because *she* wasn’t the one I sent flowers to on Valentine’s Day ’19! Ah!! It’s all falling apart!! Run!!! Run!! Get out now!!!! … ahem … No, not really, it’s all good.” … (I’m not very good at press briefings.) … Ah!! So close to a dream you can almost touch it. And yet, I feel good! I’ve finally achieved that cheesy Elvis movie guy!! Viva Las Vegas, upon losing all his money. “It’s only money, baby (breaks into a song or something out of thin air)!” Ann-Margret: “*Only* money?? Do you know how hard it is to make?” Elvis: (still singing and sauntering around happily … hard to bring movie Elvis down!!). And that’s kinda me! Easy come, easy go (fittingly, another Elvis movie title from ’67!). It’s just life. Those I love are healthy and still breathing. Including you!! So, that’s nice. What I will do, is cut out the noise. I don’t know how you deal with that side of things! Forced to hear people yapping, practically twenty-four hours a day! All so convinced in their opinions. And usually coming from the place of agitation and fear. You’re so well adjusted, you must have healthy ways of staying calm – maybe still using your meditation app, I don’t know. Strong hands at Kateland Holdings. We keep all hands on board, maybe buy a little more. So that someday, even if it’s a *one* in a million chance, something is there for you as a backup, if ever your dreams fall apart. Think of me as a safety net in that respect! Something for a rainy day. It’s made so much in the last couple of years. “I’m still waiting for my coffee.” “Your assistant just quit. She took a job with Peter Schiff.” … (need to make some coffee) … Life is beautiful! How could it not be! You’re the most beautiful person in it! Each moment is just where the needle is on the record. There’s something so much bigger going on. And the sun will shine again. (whispers off to side, “still no hits on that twitter page, really?”) … Anyway!! There’s something sexy about a man who gains and loses everything! “Really?” Trying to stay upbeat. We’ll weather this storm like we have all the others! Because the first word in Kateland Holdings is Kate!! And that’s the strongest, most beautiful name there ever was! And the third syllable is Hold, and that’s what we do when the rest of the world is fearful. We hold on when things are tough. We don’t let go like a pu**y!! (“Tone down the language!!”) Getting all Tony Soprano, sorry. Can you believe it was eighteen years ago today that I first wrote about you? Okay, not that long. But, almost three! There’s something to be said for consistency. I kind of like the hard moments. It’s a chance to show my durability. I’ll save you the Elvis singing, but my hips swing pretty good! Things work out exactly as they should. Why worry over anything. (*still* waiting on this coffee to brew.) You’re the most breathtaking girl who has ever been!! No one has your power. Simply the thought of your face, and guys run off to the shower, and say, “Don’t bother me!” if someone knocks! No, that was wrong!! But you inspire men in *every* possible way!! You make people *so* much happier. Oh, your face!! And, being you, you’ll always be this beautiful. Even more so! If that’s even possible!! Somehow you always find a way. (Group of stunned reporters looking on.) “… oh. … This is still the press conference?” … Happy Tuesday!! Don’t worry about me! And, Kateland Holdings is nothing if not secure! This concludes our emergency press briefing for Kateland Holdings. The future is positively beautiful!! How can anyone who has ever seen you be anything but happy!! You’re the most amazing thing going!! You inspire such dreams. You’re always this blessed touch of magic on earth. ❤️ (please send coffee) …
cool heads, warm heart