This is really how it happened. Except it’s over two years ago now! A friend of mine online had a dream of me around June of 2018. She said I was dressed to the nines, and sitting in a gold-encrusted chair – a throne, you might say! Not to be confused with the throne Elvis died on, as they say. And she was trying to get my attention. But I was enthralled with the painting of the most beautiful woman in the world, and couldn’t be bothered. I forgot all about it, until months later, I thought, “NOW it all makes sense!” And then the dreams started for me! Sometime around October of 2018, I had this dream of you. You were with Trenni Kusnierek – don’t ask me! I don’t know! It was a dream! – and you were excited and *so* happy and aiming a camera – kind of like aiming one’s Animus as Carl Jung talks about! –  and Trenni was asking you, “Are you all excited about JD Martinez liking you?” I guess a stud player for the Red Sox. And you were like, “No! He’s not my type. THIS guy is!” And in the dream, “THIS guy” was ME!! I know it was just a dream, but it was SO powerful and real-feeling!! It gave me confidence I never would have had otherwise. I just don’t ever have dreams like that! And suddenly I had so many! So it got me to proceed with a kind of foolish bravery (those two words often go together, I guess!) in trying to make myself known to you. All these little dreams – well, big ones, really – that felt like gifts along the way from some higher place. If it were to ever work out that we’re friends in 2048, I would look back and say, “I have no doubt. Something beautiful was guiding me from the start.” Just something of love. I think that’s all it’s ever been about. Not something dark or creepy or pretending to be something else. Just big and happy love! That doesn’t ask of anything, because it gives so much as it is. That’s how it *always* feels when you’re seen! You’re the greatest bliss I’ve ever felt! So here’s to a trip down memory lane. Happy Friday!! Just when I think it’s *impossible* for you to be more beautiful, you somehow set the bar higher! When at this point the bar is barely visible in the air!! You’re *so* incredibly remarkable. So brilliant, and so talented. You bring light to so many people. And animals, too! And I can’t forget plants! The world really loves you. Happy weekend! ☀️😊💛    

A year ago, a girl had a dream of you – before any of this came to be! You were sitting in a chair – a throne! – dressed in the finest clothes, a gold-encrusted cane in your hand. And, you were entranced by a painting of an “exceptionally beautiful woman” on the wall. Enthralled, she said! The girl who dreamt this of you said to you – in the dream, “Well, that’s all nice, and, yes, she’s very beautiful, but can I have your attention?” She said you were annoyed by this question in the dream! You simply wished to fixate on this stunning painting! On this spectacular woman on canvas! Giving it all your attention! … Well, you didn’t know what to make of this dream another person had of you! It perplexed. It saddened. “I guess I’m a jerk even in other people’s *dreams?!*” And, then you forgot all about the dream. And life went on. But, now the memory comes to you! And that strange dream makes some sense! Somebody else had this prescient dream of you before it was your reality at all! That beautiful woman in the painting, her magic on a fine screen, she changed how you perceive *everything!* How is it anyone can be so beautiful? She’s fun. She’s regal. She’s brilliance. She spins. She’s the center of attention. The circumference of a star. She *is* a star! She’s where the show takes place, and you hold on to a curtain in the wings – to keep from falling over backwards! She’s wings that let you fly. She carries you along. She’s the lady in red. She’s the woman you’ve read! Her words are magic. You treasure her prose, even when all business, the words become like playful sigils from a sacred tablet because *those* words came out of *her* mind, and were typed with *her* fingers into some device! It’s a part of *her*! She’s brilliance! And, you dance! You soar! You invent! You invented this whole thing in your mind, your mind says, when the idea seems so ridiculous that you’re ever noticed at all. And, with that message, your heart sinks. But, you remind yourself the love you feel – this magic! – is the reward itself! And your heart bounces up above the water like that ol’ plastic toy boat during bath time. You can hold it down, but you just can’t sink it! It plops back up happily! Maybe a little tilted with water leaking to one side! But, it’s comin’ back up! Every time! She’s magic. And her magic becomes you. And you yourself start attracting all sorts of attention because you’ve manifested this tidal wave of energy! Past people! New people! It’s like every ear picks up on the call. This overwhelming manifestation of energy! A lighthouse signal in hues of green sent out searching for her. It’s calling in all boats! You didn’t see this coming! You’ve created quite a storm out there! But your eyes are fixed. They gaze in one direction. On the clear spotless horizon, in hopes of setting sight of her sail. *There she is!!* She’s the one who gave birth to this new you. She is the source of it. Her magic. She’s the reason it went from one boat to almost a hundred thousand! Hearing the call! Like all those car headlights – aching, searching, driving-they-know-not-where in Field of Dreams! That’s big stuff! And, for as dumb as you might be, you’re thankfully smart on things pertaining to this – to her – because you know she’s that silent flame at the base of the furnace burning in blues and golds that powers this whole show. She’s the flame that lights the fireworks that *boom! clap!* in a cacophony of sights and sounds! Stunning and siren – and you’re more than aware of it! Everything is hyper aware, but it’s like you watch her from five different places in you at once! One part of you feels achingly maternal, rooting for her to shine – and she always does! Does she ever! Another part is just caught up in the mystery of it. Of her. The way she illuminates. If you’re coming from five places, she’s coming from seven! She can live in all these different planes simultaneously and never miss a beat. In some other realm so intensely, yet never misses a cue when another plane awaits a response. Whereas another might stumble, and say, “What’s that now?” she lives in seven places at once. And the way to find her is to have that gift that can at least live in a few of them simultaneously with her. You don’t allow yourself to accept thoughts that she’s so beyond you, even if true, because when you’re flying in a balloon above the clouds, you want to stay up there with her. Any thought that doesn’t serve, and the balloon frowningly loses air. You’ve trained yourself to stay up in the air with her. She’s there. You’re there. And that’s all that counts. And, you never counted on this! You didn’t sillily say, “It’s love at first sight!” upon that first sight. No. You didn’t make a sound. Your brain didn’t utter a thing as far as you can remember. But the air felt different. You remember that. It didn’t come with a thought at all. But, you remember that moment because something subtly shifted in the atmosphere. Like that stepping-up on a train pedestal where you proceed with a kind of quiet concentration. A kind of quiet clarity, otherworldly. A stillness in it. The memory of that first sight came back to you a little later that day. That woman in the painting, it turns out! And the air felt different. The air around you. The air inside. Like you had entered some different kind of atmosphere all together. And you had to look again. And, again. Because you had never seen anyone so beautiful. Not just her looks – *but, oh, man!* It’s like you perceive in 5-D if such a thing exists. Her spectacular face, but also her voice, her energy, her body language, where her mind is moving, where her heart is seeking – you feel it! – and you feel life in a way you hadn’t felt life before. You love with that pure love of a beloved animal. Where judgment isn’t even a word! You wag your tail, undying unconditional love pouring from a bottomless well. She can do no wrong. You just love her so much! That look! Oh, that look! She sends it, and she ends it! Everything ends, and begins again! New and different each time!  The look she sends burns a hole straight through you, and it doesn’t hurt a lick! It warms. It dizzies. It confuses with a kind of new clarity that only seems confusing because it’s new! But, it’s always a better place! And you’re better for having gotten it! She’s the summer “it girl!” She’s the most important of important people. That look that has so much information in it that “the look” would have to be dissected into pieces in a laboratory by important people in important white coats wearing important badges bearing important names with important initials after them — all in an attempt to dissect the look into its parts to vainly find all its magical elements. And yet it’s so simple at the same time. That look. It tells you you’re okay. It’s all okay. She understands. She soothes in a way that really gets inside that word – soothed. You feel it. She comforts. She takes your fear away. You’d do anything for her, if ever asked. “Well, there is no hiring for any partners at the moment, but there is this internship where you can grab coffee.” “Perfect!” you say! “I’ll sweep a few floors while I’m at it!” That look! It’s *got* to be for you. Oh, it just has to be! But, is everyone else thinking the same thing? Is a housewife in Toledo saying, “I got the look today!!” Because she’s probably even been to Toledo! And it’s why we are sayin’ “Holy Toledo!” and not “Holy Steubenville!” And you were in one place before you ever saw her. Or even dreamed of her. She was too big for your dreams. Somebody else had to dream it of you first! That woman in the painting! And, now! Wow! You’re in this whole other place. Your life is unrecognizable. There’s no runner up. There’s no walking out. There’s no settling. There is no expecting. You see through superficiality now without effort. There is no appeal in it. As if you’re some other species altogether, freed of any primal bonds. You see her! If she were sick or ailing, you’d drop everything to care for her. It’s where you ache to be. Empty beauty and seduction has no power. Not because you’re some saint. You just adore her, feel carried by her, are complete if allowed to care for her, even if in the smallest most distant way. It’s all big and up close for you! It lights your day. Even the raisin bran sun says, “I got some competition now!” But, then adds, “Yay! Another sun!” Because she brings out the best of feelings. That’s how it feels for you. The reward is tangible. You’re complete because your heart feels that ecstatic hug of a jigsaw puzzle piece finding its other piece and locking into it, fitting snug, breathing a kind of breath that is warm and filled with the contentedness of a thousand-year search finding fruition. Like the baby fox and the puppy hound in that Disney picture. In your heart, it feels that way. You feel it all in the heart for her. And that reality carries you. It feels bigger and far more real than any passing beauty – that stuff of mirages. There is no desire to pursue anything else. It would be like leaving the warmth of a bonfire to chase snowflakes in the desolate cold. Maybe someday if it must be. But … *sigh!* … The whole thing is the most amazing thing you’ve ever felt! It came to you out of the blues and golds, and was loaded with dreams and intuitions! You would never have been so confident on your own. It gifted you whatever gifts you needed for the journey. Into the heart. Her warmth. It cheers you. It smashes the way into new ways of experiencing. It is beauty you never believed or knew existed! It is faith affirming because you don’t need faith anymore. You have experience! Experience of the magic! There she is! What more proof do you need? You don’t have to believe in something you’ve never felt, because every moment is filled with love and wonder! You’re living in some other place these days, that’s for sure. Just the sight of her, the thought of her, sends off reactions into space, especially the space in your heart. You’d quietly do any thing, give any part, of yourself, to her, if asked. You just would. Not for any glory. You just feel her. Your consciousness has shifted so that your chest burns and warms to her a thousand times stronger than where you used to think all consciousness was in your head. You’ve left that behind and have found the heart has powers that far eclipse and there’s no falsehood in it like that of the mind. The mind, overhearing this, says, “Well, wait a minute! Sure there is! She won’t choose to be with you, you know!” And the heart just lights warmer. “It’s okay,” it assures. Because it really is. You’re in your magic now. You’re thankful for her. You say thank you to her. Because none of this happens without her. She’s the catalyst. She’s the artwork. She’s the energy that has caused this radical shift in you. If you never saw her, you’re living that life you were a year ago – when another person had a dream about you! – dressed to the nines with a gold-encrusted cane, entranced by a portrait of heaven Itself. Before? Doing the right things, but you feel a boat without a current. You talk of sun but see no sun. A toy boat on bath water, turning warily in a circle, no waves. Now you plop under, but soar back up! Changed! She changed *Everything!* She *changes* everything! It’s always present tense with her. You’re tense no more. You’ve seen the promised land. It’s right there! In that spectacular face! See it?! Wow! *There she is!* Oh! You live for those three words! *“There she is!!!”* Words that hold the promise of magic. Bringing comfort to places that need comforting. Hope to the hopeless. Faith to one who read the right words, but now the pages burst into heavenly colors from a divine spectrum! And somebody approaches and says, “You know, there’s no such thing as magic.” And, you answer, “Have you got time to hear a little story? Of what happened to me?” And the somebody stops. And listens. Because deep down everyone wants to believe what they already know, but might have forgotten. That magic is real! It happens every day. Sometimes it starts with a dream. ❤️  

– “THERE SHE IS!!” is on amazon (search ‘todd demartinis’). In big paperback (overpriced; if you want it, I’ll send you it free – with a gift card hidden inside! I love to surprise!). Or you can get it cheap to free in e-book form – and, of course, every post is free on todddemartinis.com … You inspire so greatly. And with this feeling of no worry to how things will turn out. I can see why now! It’s really been so beautiful all along. The reward is constant. You add sunshine to so many lives. Happiest weekend! 😌🍀🌟🥰☀️