You’re in a tough spot right now, and your energy is drained. This is just a little note for a friend. Maybe it’s that first roommate situation where you were so excited! A new life beginning! Then before you know it you’re feeling pulled down. People don’t get to talk to you that way. “Only surround yourself with people who will lift you higher.” You remember that quote from Oprah Winfrey. Water finds its own level, and you already know you won’t allow this. WWBD? “What would Beyonce do!” Picture your role model in your predicament. What would they allow? I spent so many years enduring toxic relationships. Some being those ones you simply couldn’t *possibly* end. I mean, they go so far back. The length of them doesn’t give them validation. You’re not that person anymore. And they thrive on contact, anything to pull you in. Especially if negative – and it usually is. Picture yourself as a computer – a beautiful Mac or chromebook or something! You need a firewall, or any virus can come in! You can’t send love out properly when allowing such toxins into your very innermost being. It’s a hard lesson to learn for some of us. Some others seem to know it right away. How fortunate are those people! For others, it takes us longer. But once it’s learned, it’s learned for good. It’s hard enough to change our self talk as it is, but especially when it’s coming from another posing as a lover or a friend. In my case, I remember feeling how risky it was. I always thought, “Oh, I’m the kind of person who would *never* end a friendship! If nothing else, I’ll be there forever.” Until I realized that was wrong thinking. The curtain comes down. Even if it’s “family.” Your own heart will know. Only you can. Which ones are worth saving, and which ones have to go. Water finds its own level, and your level is so much higher than that! You can wish someone well, but not engage anymore. I’ve been through all of that. This is for a friend. Someone going through a hard moment. But watching her situation has reawakened that memory in me. It was risky, because I had no new relationships to replace the old. My life was already somewhat reclusive. Now it felt like I was closing every remaining door! That’s scary. But, oh, in retrospect, how worth it it has been!! Only when I closed off the negative energy could all that positive stuff come in! It’s so true, after all. Does that mean I was all in the right, and that person was all wrong? No, not at all. It’s about truly understanding your worth and your gifts, and not mirroring back something inferior that the other person senses, and capitalizes on it. Of course none of us is perfect, but you get to know the signs of toxic behavior, you recognize it so quickly these days before that person has a chance to lay down roots. You cut it out at the source in your life, so you can shine for others unpolluted. Of course we all have our faults. So all the more reason to only allow in those who pull you up, and love you, and say, “I know you can do it!” Who see our struggles and would only point them out lovingly, to help us grow. And that’s the thing. Is there love in it? You’ll know. You know. It’s what it all comes down to, isn’t it. These are the kinds of things some people seem to know right out of the gate. For some of us it takes longer. But once it’s learned the lesson sticks forever. Nobody gets to pull you down, and remind you it’s ‘your fault’ that they do. Oh, no. That will never do. It’s a *gift* to get to know you. I know it is. It’s a privilege. You command respect. If you don’t get it, that’s fine, but I’m afraid this is where it ends. All that business of shedding ego, and loving everybody! Well, I’m afraid it’s all true! But that’s big work! That highest level. If you’re wounded and allowing wolves to nibble at you, it only makes it so much harder. Clear the decks and make something new. You’re allowed. Even if it leaves you with no one, it’s better company than what you had before. How can your self-talk ever be so loving when you allow such things and such treatment? It almost feels as if you must build a healthy ego first. One that’s radiant and loving. In order to then start shedding it. Very few go from the labyrinth filled with snakes to the tippity top of heaven, with a snap of a finger. I have such a long way to go. But if there’s anything good about me that lifts anyone at all, it wouldn’t be here now if I hadn’t cast off those toxicities from before. No harsh words must be said. That’s the least advised route. Negativity thrives on negativity. Hate thrives on hate. Take a breath, and know it in your heart first, then quietly let it go. Paul circa 1966: “How do we announce to the world that the Beatles will stop touring??” John: “We don’t say a word about it. We just stop.” It’s kind of like that. Just let people notice. “Oh! That show isn’t touring anymore. Hmm. Candlestick Park! And then nothing in months, going on years. What happened, I wonder?” No grand proclaiming is necessary. Just quietly make the changes. You’ll only allow in love, or nothing at all. You’re too valuable. You’re too special. You *are.* Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’ll do your learning, but through love. Water finds its own level, and you’re traveling on higher territory now. And better yet, you’re free. It becomes less about highs and lows. And more about free or unfree. Freedom is so often found in letting go. You’re not chained to anything or anyone. You’re an unchained melody, like the song. And that’s where the love can really shine after all! Freedom is also found through forgiving. So you’re no longer tied to it. Not forgiving is still holding on. Oh, how you’ve grown. And how you’ve learned. You don’t make the same mistakes over and over again. I wouldn’t put you down. Or make you feel lesser than. You’re not lesser than anybody! Oh, not at all. You’re bigger than the moon to me. If you wish the privilege of being a friend – it’s the highest honor, after all – you never get to do that to me, you say. You can, of course. You can choose. But once you do, I choose a spot for an ending. And wishing you well. Because I simply haven’t the time. My inner space is too valuable. I can’t be loving to acquaintances, while allowing a friend – granted special access! – to devalue and create such agitation. I’m afraid it’s a projection of yourself. And I’ve been around long enough. After I’m gone, you’ll talk the same way about another. We can’t concern ourselves with anything anyone says about us. That’s their business. You’re bigger business. You’re a diamond to me. You’re the pearl. It’s hard and it hurts. Everyone goes through it. It’s all about what you will accept. Would Oprah accept it? Or the hero of your choice? Most probably not! And you won’t, as well. I’m sure of it. You’re better than that. Surround yourself with love. And people who will lift you higher, as she said. We need all the help we can get! And that’s where your light will shine brightest. When feeling whole again, your power to give love is limitless. It’s a hard lesson. Life is filled with them. Living in a world of both dark and light. Lean to the light as often as you can. Give as much love as you’re able. But never forget the same law goes into what you’re getting. You deserve to be treated so lovingly. And so gently. The kind of love where you feel it coming off the page! Soaring and bright. It’s in the energy around you. You’re worthy. You’ve never said all that much to me. But you’ve also never said anything unkind. You’re the most beautiful person in the world. And I know! I’ve seen a lot of them! You deserve to be loved so purely. It’s really not so hard to do. I mean, just look at you!! You’re so wonderful. You’re an absolute treasure! It’s such a privilege to be able to tell you so. It’s where I find my happiness forever. ❤️
Just for a friend. You’re beautiful! Happy Sunday!! 🌟
“THERE SHE IS!!” on amazon – search my name if you wish. Thanks for being so supportive and kind. You’re truly a light shining for all of us. ☀️