Ah!! I keep thinking, she’s away. But is she okay?? I worry so much when it’s been so long! Was there an accident? I hope not! Is your dog okay? Oh, I hope so! Then I feel this feeling you’re okay after all! I mean, you got angels around you! I always say it! Anyway, when I go into my head at times, I think, “Okay, she’s gonna come back wearing a rock. You know it’s bound to happen. So get used to the idea now. Prepare yourself!” Then go into tinder or something stupid, in the vain hope you can redirect the passion. Maybe somebody will hold just a sliver of the feeling. Maybe I’ll find someone who looks like you. To be honest, the only girls I liked are the ones who look most like you! And then maybe I can pretend!! I’d probably give myself away when asking, “This is silly, but can I call you by another name?? And once in a while, sit in front of a camera and do some rapid firing?? I know it’s weird! It’s just one of those kinky things!!” I’m silly. But, yes! I kind of prepare a little in my mind, so I’m not *completely* devastated beyond recognition when that day comes. Will I slide into the depression of all depressions? And only show my face again in like 2026? Or will some part of me take it calmly? This feeling of a weight lifting, and say, “It was beautiful. The most amazing thing ever. But it’s time to leave the theater. The movie had to end some time.” I don’t know!! You never know until those things kind of happen, I guess. Then I meditate a little. And when I ask how it is I make you feel, the heaviness lifts, and there’s this laughter! And this lifting-up feeling! And all this light dancing around my head! I so wish you would tell me if I’m crazy! I’ll accept it! From you? Of course! Finally a diagnosis from the doctor herself!! You’re the only one who can say for certain. Hopefully there’ll be a post on fb again, just so I know you’re okay! Rock or no rock! I always feel a friend in my heart. I honestly don’t look into the other places. A search on the site to see if there’s a story at times. Still waking to all this exchanging worldwide just in case! But then I get on with my day. That’s all I got! But I’ve got a much clearer vision of my future! Don’t worry! It doesn’t involve driving to New Jersey! Please never worry I’m off my rocker! Just making the Cape more of a home over the next few years, and new sources of income that will open. Silly stuff, but a vision that the next thirty years or more could be something really nice. I don’t feel any excitement from the thought of becoming more popular, which is nice, as well! I used to dream like that in my twenties and thirties. I’m so happy all I feel is an “Eh!” when I even picture anything even related to having a bigger audience. I honestly don’t care, and haven’t for so long. I’m happy. It’s so freeing. My only dream has been in hopefully making you smile even once! And it looks like I can live a life that has some comfort, and stay young inside no matter what happens! Because of you. I swear everything changed the moment I saw you two years ago. I’ve let go of so much baggage. And gotten down to what’s important. And it’s simply being happy. And shining a light. Not such a bad way to make a living when all is said and done! Thanks for enduring all my silliness! You’ve been really nice about it. You’re the most beautiful person who has ever, ever been!! I’d be surprised if more people aren’t forever changed because of you! I just happen to be more talkative about it, probably. And less embarrassed to put it all out there! I don’t even think about how it appears when it comes to you!! “Embarrassment? What’s that??” If it entertains a few people, and a little book came out of it, that’s good stuff, too! Especially the ones where people feel a little better afterwards than they felt before. Because that’s exactly how I feel after seeing you. Always better for it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t come back for more. It’s who you are. A star. You!! With the most *spectacular face* that has been in the whole history of time!! And before that!! I’ve never been really all that good at committing faces to memory. But yours is sewn into my brain! That’s the most wonderful thing. When you’re away for a long time, all I have to do is close my eyes. And there you are!! And my heart feels so warm. It’s the best feeling ever. You’re *so* beautiful. You’re brilliant beyond words. I hope you’re okay. Rock or no rock, in my heart I hope it’s okay that I call you a friend. I know it’s silly! But you’re the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me! And I’ve had a few big things happen in my life! But nothing compares to you. I’ve got this happiness I can keep. This joy I can hold onto. And I never even had to hug you! Although that would be so nice! Still hoping on 2044 or something!! But it’s not really necessary. I only hope you’re happy and you’re safe. And enjoying yourself! You deserve it so much. I just felt like a little late afternoon rambling! You’re kinda used to that by now – I hope! I mean, there’s been 234 of them! I was feeling all worried, and cleaning some dishes. And thought, “What if I meditate as deep as I can? And ask if she’s okay??” And the feeling that came over when thinking of you was so warm, after a few minutes I grabbed my laptop and gushed all this stuff out!! That’s kinda how it goes with you! If I can say one thing from the heart that I know is so true, you’re the most beautiful woman who has ever been! Your face, your eyes – ah!!!! I’m dying inside!! Your power!! You change the whole inside and out of a guy who is miles and miles away from you. And it’s all so much better. *Nobody* has that power. Just you. Wonderful, spectacular, inexpressibly beautiful you!! So, thank you. That’s all I got!! Jakey’s like, “Dude, you close your eyes, then you’re gushing all this stuff. There’s important stuff to do, like take me for a walk.” Feeling guilty, I kinda let that slide. Gotta get back on it. So, Happy Wednesday!! Happy almost Thursday!! Friday, too! Whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, I hope you’re the happiest girl ever!! You’re the sunlight in people’s hearts. You’re so missed when you’re away. But it makes it so much fun when you reappear again!! That lemon sun!! “Look out, world! I’m back!!” And you light up the world!! All over again!! How ‘bout that!! “Why’s he yelling at me?” … ahem … I’m sorry. Keeping it cool. But, um, yeah. You do all that. I can ramble forever apparently, and I’ve got to get things moving over here. Just a little reminder – you’re a treasure! I’m not the only one! Only the most vocal! You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. You own those eight words!! Forever!! ☀️❤️