I figured why not “come out?” I’m a Kate lover, and I’m proud!! I had my Stonewall, and here is my first Kate Pride Parade! Starting it now, and held annually over many years I pray! 😅 I mean, I know what it is. I went through my whole thing. I pray at best it’s a soulmate connection, a friendship of the heart. And that’s the *most* it could ever be. I don’t feel any jealousy. I really don’t, actually!! It’s like I went through all that and came out as something else entirely. It’s just what it started out to be. This feeling of deepest joy and admiration. This feeling of celebration. Every time you’re seen! You inspire me so deeply. I mean, Look! I’m writing! And I’m composing! I’m singing (badly), and I’m expressing. And it’s turning into something. I haven’t been on a stage in thirteen years or something. I haven’t written a song in I don’t know how long. And here I am, doing all these things! And I realize now, *this* is the person I was meant to be. It’s who I am. And you bring it all out of me. That’s good enough for me! I’m not competing with anybody. I don’t care who you’re dating. I don’t care who you’re marrying. I mean, I prefer it would be me! Who wouldn’t?! 😅 But I’m not living in a fantasy. I know at best, maybe — just *maybe* – there’s a note or a call someday. But that probably will never happen. *Who cares!* It’s what’s happening now that matters! And I’m coming alive! Being who I was always supposed to be. It’s about the changes inside. It’s just something about *seeing* you. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life. You’ve saved my life – in so many ways. That’s thanks enough, I would say! I could date a lot of people. I don’t feel I’m missing anything. That’s not where my mind is. If I get lonely later, I’ll figure something out. I’ve figured out what matters. I’ve worked through my jealousies to realize none of that is there. If it was before, it’s not anymore. It’s these feelings of elation! Not of expectation. I sneak a little look here and there, to fuel my inspiration. I don’t stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. I don’t need additional information. But just a little glimpse of you, seeing what you’re up to, I get this feeling I can’t describe adequately. But it’s the closest thing to purest love I’ve ever felt! Like I’ve known you all my life. And before that! In my heart, anyway. I feel reconnected to my soul. And I then get lost in words, or a melody that simply comes out of me on the piano. And there’s no thought as to where it will go. It’s forever, right there. You are sunshine. All those words I’ve said over two years turned out to be so true. It was never about the possessing or this idea of getting to somewhere. “So, what’s your goal?” “This!” I say, and you smile. “This” only meaning the feeling it’s okay to love you in the silly little way I do. It’s not silly to me, of course. If you ever could feel a sliver of the warmth I do, that feeling of when you’re seen! Or when simply the thought of you comes through, you’d know what I mean. I often say, if I feel it, everyone else does, too. Now I’m tempted to believe it’s something a little more special, actually. I was simply meant to love you. And maybe with it a soul lesson about learning what love really is. It’s not about having you. It never was. It’s this overwhelming, mind-boggling gift! That I can *feel* all *this*! It’s like fugues dancing around the room. This serenity. This bliss. This otherworldly kiss from invisible angels. This never needing to be reminded there’s something more than what we see. Because I’m living it daily. Magic. It’s the best word I can come up with. To describe it. That’s what you do to me. You’ve changed *everything* – inside of me. I feel like a king. I feel like Paul McCartney playing Let It Be. I have this majesty. This wonder of being carried by a feeling that’s so much bigger than me. It’s you. All of it. I don’t know how I’m allowed to carry it! But I’m getting it. And this beauty arrives out of me. I’ve got to think this doesn’t happen to everybody. It’s something special that way. And I get it all, without your having to say a word. Without a hug or a kiss, or even a note of recognition. I feel strongly connected. As if given a special backstage pass, that travels free of time and space. A direct line to something so beautiful that feels a part of something inside of you. And who needs words for that? I treasure you. I’m always feeling gifts come through. I get to be who I want to be. And maybe there’s something in it uplifting, for somebody, too. It has this touch of allowing in other energies, of those who feel lost and confused, or abused. It has this grandeur, that allows in souls who need comforting. I don’t know how to put it. But, it’s *you*. I’m so happy I got to see you. I feel so gentle, and freed of whatever was holding me. It’s this kind of strength that has little to prove. Outcomes aren’t really even a thought. It’s all that’s incoming! That will do. It’s so much! This feeling of love. I love you. I love what I’m becoming. Not in terms of wealth or appearance or anything like that. For all my devils, there are moments so gentle I would swear that I’m an angel. These moments that are so difficult to put into words. Looking back, I really do feel God said, “I want to show you the most beautiful woman in the world.” In answer to a prayer. And I was given something so extraordinary in that moment that it never ended. It’s always beginning. It’s always becoming. You healed my soul. I was feeling so low. How could I have ever expected such a miracle? This housecleaning. This bursting in and tossing up the blinds and opening all the windows! And this incredible light shined inside. I’m new. Because of you. You’re *SO* beautiful. I hope you always know this. I just wanted to say it. That you have a name. And I have nothing to hide myself. I’ve freed myself of hiding anything. What’s one last piece? Now, from this view, I see so many who are held down. By beliefs. By things loaded onto their minds that they never asked for, yet they carry them along. And here I am, floating. I’m free. And you’re the key. You’re an angel, actually. To me. Whether or not you know it. You are. And you’re so beautiful. You’re like a friend. One I got to know in a very special kind of way. Not through the usual ways, save for a look or a nod. No, it’s more like a place where souls go. And quietly sends a ray of light through, so the other might glow. A little brighter, a gift from the other. For me, it’s the most special kind of friendship of all. Thank you for changing my life. It’s a coming out party! I’m *proud* to be a Kate lover! I’m holding up the baton and smiling! And there is a sea of people marching along beside me, oh so happily. ☀️😌❤️ 

“THERE SHE IS!!” – a book all about her!! – in e-book and paperback (search “todd demartinis” on amazon)!!!