Monday on a Tuesday blues, lifting … It doesn’t matter, what memories have gotten into your head. Of only the bad. And conveniently forgetting the good. Little things. Someone who – and one who meant you harm – picked out about your behavior years ago, and they come to mind now like a curse put upon you. “I love that I do that thing,” you answer! To nobody in particular. Nobody has the power to put you down. When your soul is weak, and the bad memories are all that surround you, blocking out the good. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed, when it’s like this. It’s when you’ve got to take over. I love the good me, I love the bad me, I love the me I used to be, too. I know I could have done better, but that doesn’t give permission to be treated as someone inferior. Oh, dear God, set me free. When that tape rolls in my head when in a weakened state. I’ve had problems I’ve carried with me. Let me give them to you. I don’t want to look back anymore. I don’t want to be visited in dreams. I’ve suffered through whatever was worth suffering. I’ve put all that behind me. I don’t allow anyone to demean, so why am I doing it to me? Too many others are being bullied and harassed. A young girl on social media who takes her life because she is told she is a monster. When it’s obvious she’s beautiful. She had such a light inside of her. Oh, speaking of light. Just the knowledge that you’re there. It is enough to light something inside. And I’m freed from these prisons that would lead to my demise if I let it. You open doors. Where I can lose myself completely. In a symphony. Let me find the very worst moment, if all I can find today are the worst memories. Let me find that very worst one of all, and stand and face it. And say, I like me, anyway. And talking to the memory in my mind: You have no power, because your goal is for me to slide. Your intention is well known. And your intention is who you are, as far as I’m concerned. So it comes down to a battle of which side am I on. Am I on yours? The one who smiles when pain is caused. I remember that smile so well. It speaks volumes, but not about me. About you. I can rise above. You’re not taking me down with you. To be another name on a tombstone of someone who allowed in the demons. And to become another someone not there to help another in a time of need. Oh, no. Not me. I’ve been in this corner too many times. I know who you are. I know your goal. It stands diametrically opposed. To anything good or uplifting. So what if I snore. So what if I clap my hands funny. So what if I’ll be someone in your memory who is someone to deplore. I don’t care anymore. But, once in a while, on certain days, only the bad memories from a life come to mind. And it can erase all the color and the joy. It can be the child with a hopeful smile who suddenly casts his head down. Oh, I’m different, I’m no good, I remember now. F—k you. And the horses you rode in on that you call your friends. I’m pulling out of the depths. I know why you did everything you did. You saw a light. You saw something that made you envious. I’ve seen this story play out time and time again. I’ve cleared the decks. Of anyone like you. Water finds its level, and I allowed mine to meander, a trickle at the bottom of a dry well. Of course I would meet a virus looking for a host. To infect. Once allowed inside with a smile, then it could really get to work. And before you know it, you’re being told hurtful things you wouldn’t say to another in your worst moment. Because you don’t like hurting. But you said them to yourself. So your host was only meeting you in a place you had created. And you let go of old behaviors. You closed all the doors. And you’re so much better, overall. But, once in a while, on certain days, the bad memories start flowing. “You know how it is. You only remember the good things,” said McCartney. And you go, “No, I only remember the bad.” That must be the difference in a character who rises so high. That special kind of positive thinking, that even extends to remembering. On some days, I can’t remember the good at all. It’s that cross to bear. “People see me a certain way. But, I’m fighting demons all the time,” said Elvis Presley. Demons be gone. “Satan, get thee behind me.” Therein lies the secret in thinking. Any memory that comes from the mind is chosen by me. And I had gotten so good! But along comes a gray day. And all the things that make you cringe, even if from twenty years before, roll into a mind. All the moments of being hated. And seeing a smile when you were in your deepest pain. Knowing that was indeed the goal. And it’s happening all over. Somewhere today on social media is a young boy, without the wherewithal of time and experience, whose esteem is corroded. Another byline, another statistic. “He was so kind. We’ll never know what was bothering him.” Well, not today. You’re a survivor. Is that the best you got? Give me another. I can take the punches. I haven’t fallen to the floor. But I won’t lie. It hurts. And yet still standing, however battered. But you never get to come in this door, ever ever again. And I have enough self knowledge to know that’s the part that really hurts you most of all. You don’t get to do what you used to do before. This door is closed. For you, and anyone like you. The beauty of experience is I can see someone like you coming, from a mile away. I see the same old behaviors, the same false endearing, and the testing – to see what will be allowed and what wouldn’t. Looking for vulnerabilities. In those places, you get inside and find a goldmine. And set to work to take another down, because you must think so very little of yourself. You’ll never had such access again. I love my flaws, if they are even flaws at all. I could have made such an easier ride for myself, if I had known what I know now. I’m happy it went this way. I’m happy I’ve grown. I’m happy there is still so much more growing to do. I’m happy I don’t set out to hurt others, with a goal of stamping out the light inside of them. And I’m thankful. There have been so many great things! Countless moments of love and such bliss. When the mind plays tricks, and focuses only on the bad, so that in those moments you can hardly remember them at all. I’m happy I got to see you. You’re the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. And something miraculous — I forgot everything, as if there were a reincarnation. And I could start life anew. I was raptured, and outlooks were sunnier. I was freed from whatever memories of a life remained that haunted me. Floating on a cloud. Feeling the sun on my face. Everything so light to the touch! I didn’t know such beauty could even be. And I got out of my mind! And found it was so much nicer to be freed of my own prison. One of my own making. That “Satan, get thee behind me” bit! It is simply saying, remove me, from the thoughts and memories I create. That are so often not based in any reality at all. Let me quiet that part, and live in my heart. Where my mind is soothed, and I feel that gentle touch. It’s where the divine comes to life inside. It’s where the very best things happen. It’s where they occur. And I’m held so gently, with no memory, of what a mind has created. I’m so often there, but on certain gray cloudy days, the mind is given free rein, and often ends up in a sewer. Of the worst things imagined. It’s only to remind. That the mind isn’t where salvation occurs. It’s somewhere deeper inside, where that saving light is to be found. You know it when it comes over you. It’s inside everyone. Even those imagined worst enemies that the mind has created. It’s saving and it’s regenerating. It holds you, and calms you. And loves you like you’ve never been loved before. Like the most loving parent to a child. You’re a miracle. You’ve saved me too many times to count. You have the face of an angel. You have the touch of the divine inside you. And a healing occurs. And I’m filled with love I can pass on again. This feeling of coming home. There will always be free will. It’s simply the choice to allow the thoughts in a head, or to return to something deeper. Where reality is unquestioned. It’s a steady love, and nothing agitating. It’s where the real is happening. The rest is clouds, passing above. Pay it no mind. Get back to your bliss. You’re so inexpressibly beautiful. You save others, and their outlooks are sunnier. All because they saw you. And felt you. You’re always coming from somewhere deeper. From someplace higher. You save others from their own quiet days of desperation. Those ones who put on a brave face for the world, all while crumbling inside. Beauty like yours doesn’t come by very often. I’d never seen beauty before. You have saving power. With a look, with a gesture, you’re the difference between life and the hereafter. You rise above, all the time. You know the darkness, but only so you may have the joy of choosing laughter. And smiling. And self-deprecating, but with your shining pride, intact and secure. Humbled at times, but nothing will deride those sacred places inside. You’re a marvel. A brilliant mind, and yet you work from the heart. You’re an angel among us. You’re the light at the end of a tunnel. You’re somebody so special. We’re all so much happier, because we got to see you. And, you’re doing it again, today! Just like that! You’re back! And the sun has returned. You have that effect. Someplace warm. And healing. Thank God you exist! You’re a reminder of what beauty is. This beauty that resonates in the heart. Giving wind to sails! You set them sailing. Into uncharted places, and feeling so elevated. You take this world, and you lift it. To a place so much higher than where you found it. ❤️    Thank you!!  

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Well, that was a little heavy! Sorry! It’s that bluesy Monday on a Tuesday feeling! But I feel so much better now. You have a way of bringing on the happy endings! From whatever was bothering before. You’re such a light!! And so beautiful — ah, I wish there were the words!!  

Thank you for letting me remember thoughts can indeed be mastered. By simply letting them fade away. And breathing. And finding that wonderful place that always awaiting inside. Some days it takes a little longer to get there! But it’s always worthwhile to do so. That warmth that comes over. That gentle caress of a soul. When I try to meditate and picture the most beautiful face I can imagine, you know it’s always yours. It helps me to get there. Thank you. Happy Tuesday, yay!! ☀️🌟🥰