I thought I’d just take one final look as I had an impulse to watch again, – – and I was like, “Ah! Don’t fall back in! It took *everything* you have to stop watching,” – knowing, of course, seeing you can’t help but result in ecstatic posts and gushing!! I so miss that feeling of you. Anyway, so I took a quick glance … And creepy mom’s-basement guy who leaves you creepy comments – – got a ‘love’ from you! And, I thought, wow, that really says it all. Two years, and a book, and so much I can’t put into words. But it brought in thousands of likes and hundreds of glowing comments from everyone – – *but* you. And I couldn’t ever get that ‘like’ – and I would go to hell and back just to earn one. Just the smallest of smallest acknowledgments. Even something obscure that I could at least pretend was for me. Anyway, no anger … okay, I’m lying a little! But, it passed really quickly! I was sitting here in my robe at 5 a.m., and my watch said ’00’ calories burned, and then I saw that, and my heart started revving, and it clicked up to ’02!’ And I had never moved! 😅 Anyway, that feeling was quickly replaced with understanding, and now I feel reflective. You gave me my voice! I thank you so much for that. You brought such magical feelings I didn’t know I had. And you saved my life. That’s really the truth. Only your face could ever have that power. I had to stop, because as my self-esteem increased, I realized no self-loving person would do this kind of thing, indefinitely without something that felt like an exchange of feeling. Not 50/50 or anything! I would have settled for 99/1 honestly. All I needed was a crumb, to keep it going. Anyway, I feel only good feelings now. You’re beautiful. These were the happiest two years of my life. Gushing over you!! It felt like sunshine *bursting* out of me, every moment you were seen!! It never got old! Never for me. I’ll treasure this time, however strange it might seem to others. They don’t mean a damn to me. (That goes double for the creepy racist Trump-y colleagues who stalked my page from a neighboring network! That’s a story for another time.) I got my self esteem. Borderline cocky in moments, unbelievably. I have interest, where I don’t have to worry about whether they like me or not. And there’s a feeling of effortless exchange. I wouldn’t have had any of that if I hadn’t seen you. So, thank you. For that, and a million other things. I guess every sunrise has a sunset, so the past month or two was when I had to process the yucky part. I always want to keep it real, and be honest about that. Not all skipping-through-a-field-of-daisies, like some of my commenters like to pretend it to be. To keep it real, so that you’d know the 99% of joy that it was was real! It’s always been about how you make me feel! It’s about the joy you brought to me – the sunshine of you! Thank you, for two very special years. ☀️