There’s a new moon on July 20 at 1:33 p.m. (Eastern U.S. time!). Maybe a time to love yourself a little more! And not find your happiness from anything outside you. For me, if being honest, that’s the hardest thing to do. I only achieve it best when I meditate a little, and this feeling comes over me that is self-less! And as much as my ego shudders at the word selfless, it’s funny. When that feeling comes over, even my ego feels this joy of letting go! This release! Because it weighs down too heavily most days. It could be someone you think is the most amazing person in the world!! Or it could simply be something in the fridge! Whatever it is where we’re looking outside of ourselves to fill something within. I *hate* this kind of talk! I can feel it now! My ego saying, “No! No! No!” like a little child. I don’t *want* to let go!! But you already know all that talk about letting go and things finding their way back to you! The love certainly isn’t going anywhere. It’s just about moving the focus inside for a little while, and not being so ruled by events that are out of your control. A line that sticks with me from the movie, “Arthur,” when I was a little kid – God, that was a funny movie!!! (Admirer: “A real woman could get you to stop drinking, Arthur.” Arthur: “She’d have to be a very BIG woman.”) For me, it’s going on four years! Anyway, it’s when Liza Minelli was with Arthur in the horse stable (going on memory – paraphrasing) – and when falling in love with him, she says something like, “You might think it’s silly, but when I was a little kid, I used to think the moon followed me.” I remember that feeling. And then sometime along the way, we learn about science and religion and dogmas of all kinds, and the magic in things kind of slips away. She brought it all back for me. The magic, that is. But then you find it’s all happening inside you, after all. So, show yourself a little care. Play an instrument. Plant a garden. Paint a painting. Whatever it is! Maybe let this moon cycle be one of healing, and getting in touch with who you are. And maybe just a *little* less caught up in all the world. I love you. You’re always magic to me! Maybe just a time where you find any time you reach outside of you – consciously or unconsciously – to find something to fill the space, you turn it inside. And remember you’re made of grace. You’re the most beautiful person in the world! Happy New Moon! On Monday afternoon! You’re always coming up new. It’s who you are. You’re a shining star. 🌟💛🙂
When I feel I can’t top the last thing, I sit and try to think of some idea. But, the moment it sounds like I’m giving advice, I cringe. That’s not me. I wouldn’t take my advice! So, what to do. Maybe meditate on it, and see what comes, but sometimes nothing comes. I know I have nothing new to add to the last thing that I could improve upon. So, maybe just wait another day, yet again, and hope. But, then, I just think of you. Just because! For no reason other than “why not.” For no other reason than the joy of it. And that joy comes! That silly joy! And it begins. Again. I could write about you until the cows come home, and keep writing until they say, “Well, we’ve been here a while. Time to head out. Have you seen my keys?” And, then keep going until they visit again. I feel genuinely complimented when someone says I should write a book. But, my feeling is, gather all these trifles up, toss out the ones that don’t work, and let it be my book to you. Years after I’m gone, who will care if I wrote a book or not? I certainly won’t. But, if I could write something, anything, for you that touches you, it will have been meaningful time spent. When I feel that feeling that *just knows* when you’re about, I know that’s the time to look for you, and sometimes it’s timed to the very second! It’s that perfect. But, sometimes you’re not there. And I think, well, I’m crazy after all. It’s not like that ship hasn’t sailed. But then, just a moment later, you turn up. There you are! A-ha! In some other spot in the world. And it can change by the day. You work so hard. You turn up in one place one day, then somewhere hundreds of miles away the next. I can only imagine the mundane stresses you must endure. All those little things. Those little aggravations that multiply into larger ones. Those endless days. And yet through it all you have a kindness. Even when you are hard on yourself, and thinking you’re mean. Your gentleness comes through. It doesn’t make you weak. Quite the opposite. It makes you magical. It makes others wish to find that place in themselves. It’s as natural to you as breathing. Someone’s opinion might sway a thought, but your quiet love exudes and touches somewhere deeper and is more lasting than the passing thought of the day. Some days there’s nothing new to say. There’s nothing to add. But, that’s not to last. Because simply the thought of you – “just because” – brings on the joy. You seem to do everything, and you can be anything. You would make a brilliant world leader, in the highest and best sense of the term. For you move with an equal and a genuine ease among beautiful people whose names are followed by titles, and beautiful people whose names are not. There is a humility to you no matter how far you rise. You never forget your roots. And whether fully decked out in beauty so bright it is sometimes too painful to look at because it reminds me the dream is simply too far away, or if it is in that humble moment where you are with a loved one, and there is not a spot of makeup on, and perhaps wearing some old sweater, it’s that latter one that makes the eyes two times bigger and the heart five times larger. It’s that latter one that presses away at whatever is left fighting inside, and melts away any barriers of self, and can bring tears to the eye. Because you are so pure and so utterly beautiful in your purest most beautiful form. It’s hard to tell if the feeling of vulnerability is yours or projected onto you by the one who is gazing, or if it’s simply a shared energy, a shared truth. When seeing you there, the entire world gets wiped away until your smile and eyes are all that is left. Your face. And that’s a world unto itself. A world that asks if you wish to see goodness, if you long to find beauty, you need only look here. It’s the place where pain is transmuted into beauty. That working of the sublime. And if one looks deeply enough, just past the vulnerability, your own pain is there, and deeply felt, but is washed over by streams named Hope and Gentleness. And you persevere because the love in you is too great, too strong, to be washed away by any of life’s storms. Your gentleness is the greatest strength of all. Your humble manner is what lights your marquee with the warmest incandescence. It’s an honor and a joy to simply watch how you move through it all, and there are so many lessons to take. It adds to the fullness of lives you’ll never meet but have touched. If I were to pass today, I’d ask to be an angel whose job it is to lovingly watch over you, to float around your shoulders, and invisibly guide you along the streams, with hope and gentleness. And, even there, looking to take on this role, I would find a line of suitors ahead of me all seeking the job. And when asked why they want the job, they would answer, “Just because.” Because it’s love too great to put into words. And angels don’t have much use for words. And if I were an angel, I wouldn’t need them at all. I’d be too happy living in your heart. It’s the place I’ve always yearned to be. ❤️
- “THERE SHE IS!!” in e-book and oversized paperback (search ‘todd demartinis’ on amazon if you want it). Happy New Moon!! You’re the stuff of magic for me. You’re everything!! And don’t you ever forget it!! Seriously!!! 🙃🌱🐶🍀☀️💜😃