Some days you want to disappear. Nothing dramatic, but there is a grayness to things. You don’t want to bother the world when sad. You want to be somebody who lifts. You don’t want to add to the down with your down. So, you slink back into your cave like Puff. Gray days when everything seems revealed as a never-never-land, with an emphasis on “never.” Then, you see her! There she is! Just like you felt she might be!! On this gray day! And she mouths something! You’re not quite sure what. It could have been anything at all! But, oh … It Lifts You! Something so simple. Something seemingly so meaningless, and yet it means everything! Because you’re now sunshine again! That fast! Like a magic trick! *“TA-DA!”* Reappear!! And there you are! Back to form! You don’t dare to dream big. Not about her! You don’t need to. Because just that word she mouthed is so big! Whatever it was! It doesn’t matter! It fuels you. She’s magic. She’s brilliance. On her game. So confident! She has every reason to be. She can lay facts on you with ease. She does her homework. She does the kid behind ya’s homework! That one who taps her shoulder and says “Psst! What’s the answer to #3?” And, she shares. At least one answer. It might not be fair. But, she’s kind. She runs to a bigger justice on things. That divine one that doesn’t go by court rulings. She’s courting something bigger. She is the thermostat of the room. She exudes warmth in a sweater that makes you think of pumpkins and lattes and gentle encouragement. A warm energy. It could be a hotter energy on some other day. It could be a cooler one. But, she decides. Her hand is on the thermostat. Of everything. Shivering or sweating, you’re just happy to be in the room. And you do plenty of both! Because it’s her. The power in her eyes. You swear you can see vibrantly lit gossamer dancing from them, moving around her the things that don’t serve, magically affecting outcomes where others believe it’s all just a sucker’s game of chance. Pulling divine little strings. Those invisible strings that move and create, and only when looking back at all the life behind you do you say, “You know, every seeming random event had some purpose! It got me to *here!*” That feeling of being carried. She carries. Like that grand creature in the jungle where others ride along on her back for a free ride! She barely feels them. And, she doesn’t mind, anyway. Just when you’re at the abyss, she lifts you up with her tail. She gives you a leg up. It could be something that doesn’t even burn a calorie, but it’s more filling than anything you ever could consume! It *literally* lifts you! You jump up and down like a child! There she is!!! When have you last done that? Giddy just from the sight of her! And that mouthed word that could have been anything!  From gray to May, and it all goes away! You’re dancing in new sights and smells in your mind. No, it’s too big for your mind, because you feel and see it all around you! It’s unmistakable! Memories of standing outside on a crisp autumn night, waiting to see a play, and taking in the magic of the stars – how crisply they are outlined against the majestic black night, and of apple orchards, carnivals, cotton candy, lilacs, the smell of sea air mixing with upholstery as you fly along with the top down. Any sense memory that has some magic for you, with just a silent word and that look of hers, she brings them all to life! At the same time! Competing magic jostling for position! But she is at the center of each. The genesis of it all. She’s the magic. It doesn’t really even require effort on her part because she’s dancing with the Source. But, when you feel something was special for you, even if imagined – and, let’s face it, it probably was – no matter! You soar, boy!!! You soar so far so fast and you’re not afraid of anything! You jump off cliffs with glee. Because there’s nothing to fear. You’re free! That place of perfect inner assuredness. And, you wouldn’t hurt a fly. You literally spend an hour trying to figure out three screens on an Andersen window in order to help a lost little one out to her own freedom! Because, well, the two of you … you can relate! You’re a lost little wanna-be-bird in between screens all the time! You don’t swat. You gently blow them off you if need be, but otherwise you take in the magic of them! And, of everything! Isn’t it all so beautiful? Isn’t *She*?? And, it’s all in this wonderful place where she is. Whatever made this and that also made *her!* So, it’s all good! It’s all meant to be. You move from seeking purpose … to receiving wonder! One person’s good is another person’s bad, but both people are cells in a much bigger body that moves to much, much bigger rules. Ones beyond a single intellect to figure out. You have to leave the intellect. From the heart it all makes some sort of sense, both the pleasure and the pain. It’s doing something to you. That much you know! You’re in that wonder again, just by the sight of her! And a mouthed word that could have been anything at all! You came into this show crying, wailing, “Mine! Mine! Mine!!” And you leave the show hopefully a bit gentler, kinder, and expressing, “Yours, Yours, Yours.” She softens the harder places with her gossamer lines others call by names like Chance or Luck. You go from taking to giving. Giving, and insisting on nothing in return. Because the little secret in the room is you’re already getting *so* much! You’re getting a lot, kid! You’re getting so much! You’re getting beauty. Beauty like you’ve never beheld in your life. You’re getting wonder. Wonder that mystifies. “Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life!” … And, yes. There’s sadness. There’s even horror. Tragedy. But, you don’t live there. Sometimes you’re forced to visit, like that once-a-year holiday where you keep your head down and just try to survive it. But, you make a polite exit and you’re back in your wonder! Cruising down that road with your music carrying you along. There is dark and light, but you always move to the light. You look for the light *in* the dark. There’s always something to find, like in that Yin and Yang symbol of the two fishes, one black, one white, but each has an eye colored like the other. You can’t separate the two completely, because it’s Life! But, she’s in Life! I saw her! And the people gather around you in stunned whispers. “Did he really see her?” “What did she look like?” “Is she really a goddess?” “YES!” he answers to all, and they almost bow before him because he’s the one who saw *Her!* He regales them with whimsical tales of her beauty, her humor, the light in her eyes that would light their own if they saw her! No, she can’t be real, they say! But, she is! He saw her! And like most stories, everyone leaves with a different interpretation! “No, she had red hair that danced like flames!” “No, she had generously pursed lips! The kind that if that were the only feature of her face you saw, even those alone were enough to express her mystery!” Perhaps a mouthed word you didn’t quite catch. Perhaps it was “Thank You.” But, if she ever said such things as “Thank You,” you immediately answer, “No, Thank *You!*” If she ever said such things as “Sorry,” you immediately answer, “No, *I’m* Sorry!” Because she gives so much in so many ways you can’t imagine her ever feeling a burden that brings about such words. There’s no room for sorrys or thank yous because that is just another missed opportunity of losing yourself in her splendor! It’s all perfect. Because she takes you out of your head where such thoughts would form such words. You’re just in your heart when it comes to her. All the time. Where words are too small, and never big enough! For her. She really *is* magic. You feel her. She exists in this same world of Sun and Moon, of light and dark, of good and bad, and that makes it all good. For you. She’s just that ridiculously beautiful! She really is. I saw her! Nobody does that to you. But, once they do, you’re changed. Like that one artwork that opens up something in you that is beyond words. It’s too deep inside you to be voiced. You don’t try to own it or covet it in the same way you don’t try to covet a sunset. It’s just there. And it’s beautiful. And you behold it. You behold her. And your own skies are lit. With magic. You get it now! But when asked what it was, the best you could muster, the best you could do, was mouth a word. A word that could have been anything at all. ❤️

… even an un-real word like *“Ta-Da!”* Because you’re magic again! From gray to May! Just like that! What a trick! And the audience applauds! And, you mouth back a very heartfelt, *”Thank You!!”* ❤️❤️