Thank you so much for the last couple of years! It’s awe-inspiring how it’s changed me, this seeing you has been. For me, I mean! I’m so happy for your upcoming adventures! I’m sure I’ll see you turn up again! In Hollywood or wherever you might be, and married with children! You deserve it all! Ah, don’t cry for me!! I needed some answers. And I love that I really meant all I had been saying. Like learning those wax-on, wax-off moves in The Karate Kid. When put to the test, I astounded myself that it became my second nature. Except, in my case, it’s been more a training of the heart, not the hands (well, not counting all this typing!). But I can put it to rest now. And focus on other things. Heartache? Sure, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s only just beginning! All these people and things that are coming into my life. I know for certain, none of it would have happened if I hadn’t seen you. So, thank you. I got the answers I needed. You know I can invent a lot of things in my head! But I’m really excited for the future! I’ll be back with posts at some point, but of course they will be different. But that’s how life is! And I thought, Ah!! Why couldn’t I have pieced it all together sooner? And the answer I got was, “Now you have the strength to be who you really are.” It couldn’t have been a minute sooner, and not a minute longer. But it added up to two years or so! And I’m nothing like the person I was, in so many ways. It’s all so much better. My two-year odyssey is over (emphasis on the “odd,” I guess!), but I’m coming out someone I really like. Enough about me! I like talking about you! But I guess I can’t really do that so much anymore. Not like I used to. I guess yesterday’s was the last post where I could really lose myself like that. Without having all the answers, it created all this space where I could fill in the blanks. Hopefully, I guess. All things must come to an end, and I guess it includes this. I’m so happy for you, as always. And now I can put these moves into action! Do you know the *power* that this prose has on other women? It was all for you. Every bit of it. Sometimes, as I felt you were moving away, I tested a bit on tinder. Needless to say, I have about a dozen phone numbers of girls I haven’t gotten around to texting. And that’s the other thing. You know how I go on about God and angels and this stuff. Not a religion thing! In more of a spiritual way. So, there could have been this moment when I felt that old heartbreak feeling, of yelling to nobody in particular, “How could you lead me on? Why did this have to happen at all?? Letting me live in some delusion for two years over nothing??” And that’s how I know you changed me. That it’s all been for the good. Because my only reaction was, “It all happened for a reason. Even if it wasn’t what I’d hoped for.” I feel mature. And all these qualities that weren’t gifted onto me until falling for you. I so loved getting lost in prose over you. Some of it better than others, I know this one is terrible! I’ve lost my touch because I’m too nervous to write. I hate those ‘goodbye’ ones. I’d rather stay in the splendor of not knowing, in a way. But now I can’t do that. It’s time to call it a day. So, I figure I’ll be heartbroken for a while when the reality sets in. That waking up, and remembering what occurred today, and feeling my heart break all over again! And not being able to check in, in the ways I had been doing. Most especially, not seeing your face. Your spectacular face!! It gave me such reason and purpose. It’s kinda like you saying, “You gotta fly without training wheels now, old boy.” (mixing metaphors, I know!) You’re golden sunlight. I’m so happy you found the one!! I feel tied to you somehow, but I can’t explain the why or how of it. But I’m so happy I got to see you, and lose myself completely in you for these past two years. I’ve never experienced anything like it!! And I’m so happy somebody else gets to experience it with you. (You sure you’re not gonna lose him?? I’m kidding!! We kid here!!) Oh, God, this hurts! But I saw when you gave a little smile off to the side. Nobody else would ever catch it, but I knew right there what I guess I had known for a while deep down inside. So then I decided I’m brave enough – just let me know the truth. As much fun as the illusion has been, I couldn’t live in there forever, of course. The illusion as to how things are, I mean! Not the loving you part of it. That goes without asking. Only a guy in love could do all that! I look back once in a while and re-read, and I sometimes marvel at myself. “I wrote that? This is really good.” 1,255 pages, it’s insane, I know! “Speaking of insane, …” Me! I know! I guess love doesn’t follow the rules. I won’t go back to life before you. There’s no going back there at all. I ended all relationships that were toxic or didn’t serve. So I get to come out of this someone new. The heartache just means I’m growing. And I grew so much through this period with you! Well, you know what I’m saying. It’s time to write about other things! Other people! When the time feels right, I mean. It might be quiet for a while. Like Puff slipping off into his cave. But with every death, there comes a birth. I have faith good things are ahead. This wasn’t meant to be a proper post. Nothing terribly wonderful or uplifting. Certainly not poetic. It hurts a little too much! And I tend to write from a place of peacefulness, so I know this will sound all screwed up. I’m just so happy I got to see you, and fawn over you like I did. And dream of you. And all that magic! At least on this end. I had never felt anything like it! And it all came from seeing you. Nobody else ever had your effect. I wish you such warmth and success on your journey! I might catch you somewhere from time to time, but probably not for a long time. I’ll need to know I’m healed and my love is somewhere good. I still choose to believe we were soulmates, but soulmates doesn’t mean you’ll ever be together. It doesn’t even mean you have to meet! Just this connection I’ll never able to explain. And how you awoke all this beauty inside of me. I’ll always be thankful. I’ve got some power, after all. I got a light around me. And letting go turns out to be the last lesson in the journey. It’s the hardest one of all. But you’re always in my heart. You’ll do such wonderful things! Even bigger than you’ve done already!! And that’s quite a lot!! To put it mildly. You’ll have such a wonderful life. I’m sure of it. You made mine better, so anything you touch must only have that effect. Thank you so much, for two of the most beautiful years of my life. I can’t say goodbye, so how about “so long.” If ever there’s a post you like – I mean, the law of averages, right?? Out of 250, there’s got to be one that makes you smile … right??? They’ll all stay on the site, and some are in that book! See? You got me to publish a book! And it sold quite a few, too! Woo-hoo! Of course, none of that matters. It would just mean the world to know even one or two touched you. Now, I’ve got to get this old body into shape!! And try out my special powers on whoever it is who’s meant to pop into my life. At some point. I imagine for now, I’ll just be a little quiet. I wish you all the good fortune I could ever wish upon anyone. You have all the power in the world! You even got me to fall for you! And I don’t fall for just anyone. Just sayin’. Here’s looking at you. I could never forget your face if I tried! So I don’t have to worry over the pain of not seeing you. You’re always in my heart, and up in any star I could look upon. You’ll always come out shining. Please take such good care of you. ❤️