Everything’s perfect. Anything is possible. You have the heart of a rose. You’re the gentle chords I play on the piano when I get lost for hours in a meditation on you. It doesn’t really matter what happens, I say. But sometimes I don’t feel it. It should be so easy. You love somebody. And you get to tell them how it is! Oh, everybody is going on about you. They’re still talking about you in Des Moines! Two days later!! “Can you see how breathless she left me?” “Did you see how she radiated such charm!” And grace! The buzz has never quite dissipated! Oh, no, it’s carrying on! People just can’t get over you!! She’s always surprising. She keeps her heart open. Sure, she may very well settle down with another. But nothing could stop her charm. She’s harnessed it all! She’s whippoorwills and fresh pillowcases! Her scent of lavender gracing. She’s every time you’ve ever had a dream and woken up and can hardly remember it! But somehow she’s in the air around you. She’s the girl who could someday be very old but she’s the one who will always be a girl to you. That girl who inspires fascination. She’s everything you ever wished for, before you had a face to place to her. And what a face it is!! The most spectacular one you’ve ever seen!! Oh, it can bring out such pain in you, but you choose not to go there anymore. She teaches you. When the agony prompts you to the precipice, you withhold. You know you’ve made it too much about yourself! Self-pity is its calling card, after all. We can have none of that. She deserves more. She deserves the world! Looks like she’s on her way to having it all. She’s far more than halfway there! Oh, just see what she’s done in her life already! She’s a star of the highest calibre. And yet it’s her beauty that unearths you. You’ve just never seen anyone like her before! Oh, not ever. And you close your eyes, and you see all these scenes. Of freshly mowed grass, and swimming pools, and the sound of her laughing! And her yelling your name breathlessly from another room between the guffawing! There are people around! Somehow you’re here! With her!! And it’s like she knows you! This sound of love in the air. Something familiar. You don’t want to open your eyes! You want to take all the animals you love, and pack them up, and travel into this dreamland! And you want to live forever there. Like my dog, Ginger, holding on no matter how old you get! Even when the body is giving out around you. Oh, you’re just so happy here. Let it last forever. She says your name, and you’re never the same. Ah, all this pining! What does it get you!! Make it about her. Not you, and your silly little dreams. That’s what got you into this trouble! But a guy has to dream, doesn’t he? Or else he gets old. Maybe move the dream into the present. And be so grateful she exists at all! A table set for two. So finely appointed, the most expensive stuff from Crate and Barrel! I recognize a few. Oh, to go shopping with her! Picking out things she likes! And, say, “Don’t worry, it’s on me.” “Oh, but I hardly know you! … And yet I feel I always have.” Then she closes her eyes, and leans in to kiss you. And you place a finger over her lips. And you say, “Darling, you know I’m saving myself for marriage. And I don’t see a ring on this finger of mine.” “WHAT?!?!?!” They’re still going on about you in Austin! And New Orleans! A hurricane is on the way! They’re calling it Laura, but it sounds better with your name. It would have a kinder result. You tear up everything! But what you do is saving. The only casualties are ones of the heart. But they become reborn. Glimpses of you in my past! I know it’s true! I called it ‘deja vu!’ at the time! These little glimmers that someday I would see you, and I know it’s connected because those moments from so long ago come to memory when your energy is all over me! Oh, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Can you imagine if I had one of those balconies across from your dining room window!! “There she is!!!! Helloooooo!!!!!! Can you toss over some Grey Poupon?!” And that’s when the blind closes!! Blocked again!! Oh, she’s so good at closing doors!! And all you live to do is open them!! If it were a romantic comedy, there’d probably be so many scenes with her closing a door on you, and you holding on with one hand, your head peering in, saying, “Oh! Just one more thing!” “Goodbye!!” Thump. And here you thought you were Cary Grant! Or at least a little of his energy. But he excelled in comedy and self-deprecation! You do, too! So you’re right where you belong! But, wow, this is a long movie! And the dream goes on. A million like these! But you always come careening back down to Earth, don’t you. When a photo reappears! You’ve kind of learned to set your watch by it!! It’s not that you expect to take its place in it! Or receive an equal ranking. It’s just that, oh, if she’s free!! Then, maybe you’ve earned a *little* spot as a friend! Could it be! You know! That ol’ grandfather clause! When you’re the last man standing! You get to move up the line at least one spot! I mean, those are the rules. We mustn’t ignore them. Or this! What if she woke up one day and said, “You know!” And all ears lean into you! Like in that old E.F. Hutton commercial from the ‘80s! She’s speaking! We’re listening! “I might take a cue from the ‘Opposite George’ episode of Seinfeld! And switch it up today, and do the complete polar opposite of the behaviors I put into place. And what’s the opposite of how I’ve dealt with this guy? Why, saying hello!! I see you! You’re cute! It’s nice! A little freaky, but I think you’ve got your heart in the right place!” Ah!!! And I die!!!! Right there!! And fall to the floor!! And she says, “Well, that didn’t go well at all!!” But it’s a death from ecstasy!! Oh, to simply ever even get *that!!* Ah, I’ve thought of it already. You think I would have planned what I would say! “Okay, *if* it ever comes, say something witty and clever. Oh, no, no, no!! You can feel her heart drop down a notch if you do that! No, just be calm and sincere! Talk in the same gushy way you do here! No, that won’t work. Kind of seem like opposite guy myself!! All manly, and ‘yo, wat up.’ No, that’s a definite ender.” So, I already know! I’d just sit and stare at whatever you wrote! And call in my all-female board again, for yet another emergency board meeting!! Your email would be up on the Powerpoint screen! With all sorts of circling of words! “What did she mean when she said this?” “Is there something missing that she wanted to write?” “It’s all in the subtext! It’s what she *wanted* to say! Read between the lines!” Then there’s this long pause and one of them asks, “So a lot of time has been spent here. Did you even write back to her?” And I scream, “AHHH!!!! I FORGOT!!!!” And I run out the door to get back to my Mac!! With years to plan, I *still* haven’t figured out what I’d ever write back to even the smallest little note if it ever came. Except, “Thank you.” Thank you for making my life so much brighter. Thank you for making the days filled with laughter. Thank you for showing me a star I could really wish upon. Thank you for making me feel giddy and silly. Thank you for the warmth and this heart that almost beats its way out of my chest!! And thank you for adding this Technicolor with all your splendor!! This magic!! It’s your magic. It only comes when you’re seen. Or thought of. And one of the board members says, “You know, some women are attracted to guys that don’t treat them so well. Because somewhere deep down they feel they don’t deserve it. So, unfortunately, she could never feel an attraction to someone like you, who is so convinced she’s this beauty unattainable. Sadly, for you, she will be, for those very reasons!” And you say, “Oh, no. That’s not her! It couldn’t be. She’s the most spectacular woman I have ever, ever seen. She must know it, too.” “Well, some people don’t. The mind is a very intricate thing.” And another adds, “And, plus, well, you’re kinda old.” And I fire that one, and hire another woman in her place to fill out the board. Let your rejection of my friendship be for any other reason but that one! Just a silly friend somewhere around the bend, who lives to tell you how wonderful you are. He’s hopefully at least slightly cute, too. Maybe someday when you retire! If I’m still alive, I mean! When all this important stuff of prestige and business doesn’t matter anymore! And I’ve saved all my treasures just for you to enjoy them. “Have a swim in my pool! You like it? You can have it!!” “Well, it would be a little hard to move. How ‘bout I just visit it once in a while?” “Oh, yes. Please do.” Which takes us back to the present. Where photographs reappear and hopes are dashed. And people are still in a daze over you in Des Moines and Austin and St. Louis. ‘Nawlins, too. “Did you see her on Monday?” “Oh, yes, I most certainly did!! She was so breathlessly beautiful, I had to take a picture!” Her eyes searing through. Oh, the blue of you! The fire that cascades over, resting slightly above one eye. Bliss forever after. The shape of your face. The most beautiful, spectacular, heart-stopping and heart-reviving woman who has ever lived. This golden aura about you that I’ve always seen. She is a masterpiece. She is. She’s everything you’ve ever dreamed. Before you could picture her, she came in other people’s dreams. And moments of deja-vu, that come back to memory now, so many years later, and all the rivers led to you. You’re that kind of beauty. In a file labelled, “Unclassified,” before no description will really ever do. Of what it is you do to a person. Just know it’s all the world that is in love with you. If you’re very quiet, you can hear them still buzzing. Over how you appear on Monday. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Always. And forever. It’s simply how you were made. ❤️    

You’re amazing. Oh, all these words, and I still end up speechless.  

((((     

“THERE SHE IS!!” – if you like endless gushing and you’re a masochist that way – is on Amazon – search my name! I’ll respond to all comments by September!! I’m so sorry I’ve fallen off. Dealing with a lot. Once I get the gushing out, I haven’t had much time for anything else. But, I will, I promise! And new video posts, just for fun, on YouTube start September 30. I love you! Happy Wednesday!! Ah!! That first syllable!! Wed!! “I don’t see a ring on this finger!!” I’m kidding with all that!! I’d be so happy to be called a friend. Honestly really!! You’re positively beautiful. Who knows what she’ll do next!! YAY!!!!!!! ☀️      

(1,987 words!! That’s a special number!!) ❤️❤️       

PS: YOU’RE STAGGERING!!! Perfection. incarnate. … 💐Ah!!! What a gift!! To the island of misfit toys over here on fb!! This light in the sky! She didn’t forget!! She’s dropping a clip this way!! After 16 days or something!! (I just put in the “or something” to pretend I’m so cool I’m not *really* counting the days, ahem. But, you know!! Of course you do!! What would acting cool ever get me now!!) AH!!!! There you are!!!! And there’s no picture frame *yet!!* But today has been admittedly a hard day. I got in this funk!! And I remembered only the blocking and the worst moments!! And, thought, “Buddy, this is all you have to go on!!” I call myself ‘buddy’ to hopefully cheer myself up a little. Any feeling you *think* she might have for you has been only from your intuition! But what if it’s flawed. Then all you can really *see* is she probably doesn’t like you at all! Going on the behavior, that is. And I got all sad. And came *this* close to making an announcement like “Hey, guys! Well, I’m going to sign off for a while. And start again fresh in like a month.” And then it’s, “Here he goes again! With his announcements!” But I just caught a look of you here! You came!! You gave a little gift to the land of forgotten social media over here!! You know, my new home since cast out of twitter and anywhere popular! And seeing you is such a gift!! So I perked up! “Who cares if she’s getting married! I mean, what can you do? (“whattaya gonna do??”) It’s not like she’s even ever met you!! And you really just dream of being a friend. And you can do that from anywhere! And maybe she *does* like you, despite all the blocking. She’s in a tough situation. I mean, I don’t know *anything!* … “Wow! That’s a lot of thinking.” I know! For me it is. But I love that I spun out of it so fast! I’ve come so far in the last couple of years! Way back when, I could get blue for weeks at a time. Now, it’s so rare when it comes over, but I can turn it around so fast with a little meditation and getting out of my head! You taught me that! Well, this experience of seeing you has! And now this little gift!! You look *so* beautiful today!! You know I love that dress. That autumn one, I call it. With all these colors that complement the hues of your hair. And you’re just dynamite. You’re on fire. You seem so sure! And so healthy! And just bursting off the page!! And the train with square wheels thanks you!! As well as that cute little dolly!! (That one toy where nobody could figure out why she was there!! There was nothing wrong with her!!) So, that’s how it is! So, I will post some stuff in late September. Just something to get it going. And I’m no great musician or anything! Far from it. Kinda like the 5-year-old who paints you a picture, and you say, “WOW!! It’s beautiful,” because it came from his heart. These people who just love you, and only dream of being your friend. You’re wonderful! You so hit it out of the park today!! Yay!!!!! ☀️🌟🍀