When tears fall, and you’ve been through it all. You’ve been loved, but you know you’ve been hated. When your defenses are down, it’s those darker ones that beckon. It could have been a hundred years ago or just the other day. Either way, it comes calling your way. And your light is dimmed. And your mind will spin the same memory because you’re no longer at the wheel. It’s on auto-drive now. The descent into previous hells. You sink and deflate. The smile is gone and all is gray. There is a world of those who love you, and yet stuck in memories of hated by a few. And it occludes the light, the truth. Do you notice it only comes when you’re vulnerable? When you’re already sliding? You shrug that stuff off and laugh when you’re feeling up! But you feel deeply. And sometimes deeply means down. You don’t deserve to be in the abyss and all that darkness and gloom. Not when there’s that light of yours! It’s needed now! Think of old Scrooge in A Christmas Carol – and that glorious ending! Would he spend the next moment just after back in the sadness? Suffering over memories of his previous self? Well, that wouldn’t be a very satisfying ending! It would miss the whole point! That coming-to-life is the final scene because that book is closed, and a new one opens! A rebirth. And, *you* are new! All that stuff was training wheels. They’re gone. It’s gone. And, you’re the shiny new bike! Look at your soul’s journey! You had to wrestle over some hard stuff. But, you’re better for it. You’re a survivor. When many haven’t made it with you, you’re still standing today. That’s big stuff! You’re loved, but if you know there are others who, in their minds don’t love you at all, you also know there are as many universes as there are minds! Each one is running its own show! The greatest person will be hated in some of those worlds, the most reviled loved in a few. Who cares? It’s not your concern. You stood up and faced the mirror. You made it through the day. And Scrooge is such a lovable character, even though despised, derided, and laughed at by the people in his world along the way. Oh, that soul-crushing moment when he is shown what people do and say of him behind his back. And your heart feels for him. Your heart breaks for you. When you’re deep in the sadness of the unloved. But, Scrooge becomes adored by the bigger audience watching the story. The way your angels, your energies, your passed loved ones adore you in watching you, too. That’s the bigger story. You have mastery. Yes, you do! Your mind is your instrument. It will do what it’s told. But, if told nothing, it will entertain itself – for good or bad. You’re stepping up. There’s a new sheriff in town! And you tell your mind what will be accepted, and what won’t. It will take some time, but it will learn to obey. After all, it wants to feel better, too. You’ve come so far! You’re all the more loved because of your journey. It gave you depth. You visited the depths. It makes you deep. And when you meet someone sinking in the abyss, you can lend a hand up. And they find the first comfort they’ve found in so long by looking in your eyes and realizing, “She’s been there. I never knew.” You might even save a life or two. You might have saved many, and you’ll never know. Your pain has had purpose. But, as a reward to yourself, please let it go. If you only knew how loved you are! You can make it on your own! But, you turn it all out. Your inward passion that creates the lonely storm moves to com-passion that provides for so much more. This freeing and letting go! You’ve found it now! These were all lessons to learn. Ones your soul decided long ago. And now you’ve made it! You got the lesson! You made the grade! You stand up and breathe! Today is a beautiful day! You’re the love itself. You don’t have to go looking. It’s found. And, there’s your power! All the things that haunt are angels in disguise. It’s carving you out, it’s whittling your pride. But, in return, you’re a masterpiece. Vast and bigger than words. Bigger than any silly judgment from another’s pride. Those things float about and change all the time. You might as well yell at the wind. What’s real is your growth. You came in one way. You’re now something else. Something deeper. Something broader. Something capable of kindness and gentle understanding. You let the ghosts go. The sun isn’t out there thinking, ‘Oh, I can’t forget that day in 1953 when I burned up all those fields. How can I go on?’ Nope! It’s out there, doing its thing. Shining bright, and probably not overthinking the whole thing. You’ve got that light! You shine. You have a beauty you miss, but others see. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. And, with that, you breathe. You give yourself a needed break. Everyone aches, but there’s no suffering over mistakes. Because without them, you don’t grow. You might as well be back at the beginning shouting ‘Mine! Mine! Mine!’ Now, you’re rich in experience, that came through your wounds. You’re a source of help. You say, ‘What’s mine is yours.’ And for all the pain you carry, people find comfort through you. Your gentle touch. You are love itself. You are magic when you shine. And you are so deeply loved — forever, eternally, and all-the-time. ❤️  

If it’s a tough day, I hope you know you’ll get through. You’ve got to. You’re YOU! And some of us think that’s a pretty amazing thing. … Sorry I’ve kind of disappeared. Dealing with my own nonsense, but will try to be back soon. I hope something I post once in a while brings a little bit of uplifting. You deserve it all. Some days are a lot harder than others. Sometimes it’s hard to even know why. Maybe some things just hit you a certain way. But you’ll be back tomorrow. And happy. That guy, that girl – that’s the real you, after all. You’ve got so much love inside of you.  ☀️  

www.ToddDeMartinis.com – not loading properly since July 2018!  🙂