You’re a movie star, and I totally missed it! I didn’t know to look for you at the top of the hour. The most vibrant red dress, and still *that* can’t compete with your eyes, your lips, and your hair. When it would overshadow anybody else. You rise above it all. Whatever is beautiful on its own, only becomes more beautiful when adorned by you. You’re a princess, you’re a Queen! You’re such a wonderful escape from the mundane. The only reason I didn’t see you was I’ve been dealing with family matters this morning that are depressing. A boyfriend of my sister once told me – somewhat recently, “Some people hate you because you’re free.” So even when the feelings are negative, I try not to bullshit something on the top of it that suggests something that isn’t there. Another thing I’ve learned in the process of adoring you. That bit about keeping it real. And yet I’ve got more love than I know what to do with! Inside me. And it bursts into expression every time you are seen. I can’t even *begin* to say how beautiful you are today. Something about you at “home” – your home on a stage. It’s where you’re meant to be. I could look at a million movie star documentaries from 1920 to the ’20 of today. I promise you nobody can even hold a candle to the power and the beauty that is you. You’re absolutely *stellar!* You’re a masterpiece. You in red – you’re ‘red on red’ — again!! – and yet you’re always new! – that tells a million fellas, “Forget it, boys. You’re through.” Nobody can touch your beauty. And on gray mornings, like these on the last day of April, it becomes painfully apparent to anyone who pines for you. That cutting through fantasy into reality. You’re higher up. You’re the highest shelf of dreams. But, oh, what a fantasy it is! Where the love for you is real. There are no words, and yet somehow I expect if I had every word that exists at my disposal, and if I found the perfect combination, they’re only words on a page. Nothing can capture what it is you do. But you’re dynamite. You’re splendor. You’re the only time I’ve ever fallen in love in my life. And I know there will no other. Nobody who lights up a heart inside so much that there are physical repercussions. It tires me out! I gotta sit down. It’s like every old part of me this morning – dealing with old memories I would rather have forgotten – it all gets swept out of me! With this light from your eyes. Your eyes are *beyond* magical. You are truly the feeling of being reborn. I don’t know how to process somebody so magnificent as you. And so it courses through me! It doesn’t give a damn as to what my little mind is thinking! It’s bigger than me. And that’s how it should be. You’re everything I have ever found to be beautiful. Right there on the screen. And it’s this way all the time. It really doesn’t matter how you look, although it’s splendid when you’re regal like a lioness. It’s simply because it’s you. If ever there’s a someday when you’re feeling a bit shy, as if you don’t live up to whatever it is I feel of you. All you’d have to do is look in my eyes. You’d know, “There’s the love. Right there.” Always your friend. I adore you so. I’m sorry I missed you, I was running late. Caught up in other things that agitate some deep wounds. But it all gets shaken away. You burn a light right through. You’re the most wonderful person in the world. Don’t forget that part! It’s your soul that comforts me when I’m blue. And you! You’re fiery red! You’re precious. I treasure you all the time, even when no words are being said. You’re someone to admire. You’re someone to desire, and learning the strength to not let it go too far. I can control the fire. This moth dances around your flame, but only has a few burns on him. He delights so in the game! This game of life. Why bother to play, I once perhaps would say. Then you came along with beauty un-ignorable. You splash the colors onto the palette. You’re the sun that blazes through! And you’re adored. You’re prized. You’re treasured. You’re precious, and you’re protected. You’re stronger than anything around you. I’m so grateful for a seat at this show! Of you. You tame the wild beast. You reintroduce love into places it is so needed. You’re magic to the point magicians bow to you, and not to an audience. You smile, a look and a nod, and it’s history! That *look* of yours! You’re on some other plane! “This is how we do it,” she says. It’s watching a master at work. On top of her game! And there’s so much love in it! So much exploding! So much fresh and exciting air! You take the load off, you untie the knots, and I’m lifted, and I’m free! Like watching a Motocross driver, in the zone, speeding down her runway! On the most glorious Sunday afternoon. Everything feels so *new!!!* So much promise in the air. And it’s not going anywhere! It’s here forever – lightning in a bottle! – moments you impress on my heart and my mind that become timeless foreverafter. This is really what you do. I’m sorry I missed you today. And now I don’t feel I’ve missed a thing. I’m overflowing with love and zest and newness. All wonderful and wondrous things I could never have felt if your face was not where I could find it. Tell me anything, but don’t tell me there isn’t magic. From the moment I saw you to this very day, you’re the very definition. You’re the living of it. You bring it all to life! It’s you. It’s you. Always. And it will go on forever this way. How in the world do you do what you do? How is it you’re beautiful in a way that defies all expression? How is it I know I will love you forever? That I will always feel a friend to you. No matter what transpires or what doesn’t. I might as well ask why there’s a world at all. It’s beyond any reason I can come up with. But, I’m happy. I’m happy that you do. I’m so happy when I see you. I’m so much better than I was the moment before you appeared. That’s quite a gift. And it’s only to be expected, from the most beautiful woman in the world. Thank you (ah! Stop thanking me! she says!). It’s impossible to explain how beautiful you are today. So I guess I’ll stop trying. For now, anyway! You know I’ll try again. I’ll be trying as long as there is time and there are days. You bring out the world in me! You’re everything I could have ever wished for. And yet with even my imagination, I had to see you to believe you!! It’s absolutely impossible to explain how beautiful you are. Your eyes! Your lips! Your hair! Your softest cheeks, some divine carving, this glorious sculpture from God. You’re a goddess, that’s what you are. The empress who holds every secret. You leave someone pushing fifty feel twenty-five, I’m *that* alive inside! With all this magic! You spill over the parts you can’t use! You’re generous to top it off. I love you. I hope that’s okay. I dream a life away on dreams of you, and yet somehow life keeps getting better. You inspire every good thing I do. You and your magic. There’s no separating the two. It’s simply you. Wonderful, earth-defying, spectacular and soul-reviving, you. Your look! I got it today! This utter magic, this knowing, in your eyes! You inspire castles and merry-go-rounds and technicolored explosions in the sky!! You mystify. You let me come alive. I’m so grateful when I see you. I only wish I had the words for you. No matter, that’s the joy of trying. You’re everything I will ever love. All that feeling this morning. And it’s simply you on a Thursday, at the very end of April. You’re just doing what you do! And you save lives because of it. Sometimes people just need to be reminded, of the beauty that they have. I hope as a way of saying thank-you, once in a while I might do this for you. You’re spectacular. ❤️

🌟🌟🌟🌟!!! … Ah, *THIS* is what I mean!! You’re flying!! It’s that excitement when you’re this goddess on rapid fire when your voice takes on this mellifluous (there’s a word!) melody, and it’s the music of the spheres!! It’s you at your biggest and brightest! The way you are made to be! It’s so good to see you “back on top!” Not that you ever went anywhere! Rather back where you belong, and it’s indescribable how beautiful you are. It’s moments like these I have to rechannel my energy! That feeling that you’re out of everybody’s league! You are, anyway! So I move the energy into more this peaceful Zen adoring love of you, that doesn’t want for anything. Cuz it ain’t great to want so much of somethin’ you ain’t gonna be getting! That’s the feeling when it’s Days of the Goddess of you. They’re all that way, but on certain days when things are gray, it’s easier to fantasize a guy might find a back-door opening as a pal or a friend of you. But, AH!!! You’re magical! That’s not big enough! Picture “MAGICAL!!!” spray painted on a billboard under your face, each letter a different color, bursting! – like the colors of the rainbow! You’re so pretty. You’re so dreamy. You’re just *everything* that’s beautiful to me. And to the world. Ah! To heck with the world! I’m only thinking of me!! Send a little look my way and I’m fueled all through May! On this austere month I promised I would stick to. And that’s a sign it’s time for deep breathing! Detachment, Todd! Love for the sake of love! And all that stuff. I take a few minutes and close my eyes, and breathe in deep, and feel those little bursts and what I am pretty sure are angels. And I think of your smile. And it warms me so. And then it spreads all around me. You make it easy to do. It’s no accident meditation never worked for me, until seeing you. It’s wonderful how beautiful you are. ❤️

🔥😊🌟 Your energy level is so magical, it’s contagious! You’re positively beaming!!! Either you’re getting married and my heart is going to plummet, or maybe you’re just happy because you’re you!! Anyway! I’m fitting ‘em all in now, as you know I might be off a few days starting sometime tomorrow! “Our own K—— *——s!!” Is it silly there’s a “Yay!!!” and applause on the other side! When your name is introduced! That’s in-between the hushed and silent “Wow!” when you come into view, but there have been so many “Wows” today, it’s an embarrassment of riches. I can’t get over how bright and happy you are! When you’re happy I swear the world is happy. You shine and you glow! And it reflects off of everybody!! Okay, I’ve got it down to a system! I refrain from going to your Twitter page properly, that way my heart isn’t broken and I can keep this precious illusion that you see me at all! But I’ve got the google machine with your tweets that I refresh. I read them, but I try not to open them up. And I know you’re not on Facebook so often. I like to pretend you don’t see the point in posting, because you check me out and you say, “Ah, he’s already seen it!” Because I’m already writing about it! I don’t know if there’s too much of a good thing! At best, I could die from exhilaration! I do have to remember to breathe! That’s really how it is. You’re Disney World and Disneyland! This childlike thrill that comes over! Every time you’re seen! You’re falling in love – that feeling!! It’s *SO* spectacular! I hope you’ve felt it this strongly. If not for me, well, for anybody!! It’s truly the stuff of dreams. Okay, I know I’ve come on a little strong the last two days! I’m so afraid of the suffering of May, and all these changes I’m making. I so want to get all my fill of you now, to last me for the next few days. Do you know how when somebody is in love, they have this certain glow? And it’s then it seems everyone in the world wants them, too? You’re glowing. Even more than usual, however that is possible. I’m so happy you’re so happy! Whatever the reason! I think May 1 will make almost 22 months since I first saw you, and I’ve never been the same. You inspire me in so many ways. I’ve put off some amount of suffering and saving it for May. Everything is a leap of faith. Maybe someday I could simply be your friend. Or maybe my heart crashes, and I hide away, and then pick myself up again. I have no idea. But my heart told me I’ve done all the right things (well, mostly! You know I break down from time to time). But loving you has been so rewarding. I don’t want to be overdramatic, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve saved my life. I felt so sad and empty two years ago. I remember sitting in a rocking chair on a July day up in my room, and I said this special prayer. That sticks out in my mind, because it’s the last thing I remember before falling so head over heels for you. I know it’s a bit of an impossible dream. So I’ve modified it. I’ve learned to channel the love I feel for you in the most appropriate ways. I’ve gotten pretty good at it, but we all know I have my days. I just adore you so. I *know* I could be a friend and watch you love another. I’m strong enough for it. This love is stronger than myself. I think my only dream is just hoping we could say hi someday. I promise I’d be the greatest friend in the world! That’s a title I really am shooting for! I think I could earn it. I’d give you everything I’ve got, and never ask for a thing from you. I don’t know to explain it. It’s just that kind of love. You’re amazing. As is often the case, I don’t have the words to express how wonderful you were today. But you’re shining! Whatever it is that you’re feeling, I have a feeling it’s what I’m feeling, every time I see you. I dream of you when not seen, and it’s by far innocent dreams. It feels almost childlike. The way a girl would write a letter to a movie star in the old days. And lay in bed at night thinking and dreaming, and rush to the mailbox every day after school – first thing thought of! – just in the hope there might be some letter. The way I feel about you must be something similar. You’ve carried me through so many days. Lifting me. Into places of feeling I didn’t know there was feeling! And it never goes away. As sure as I know my own name (although I often forget it when you’re seen!), I know I’ll always feel this way when it comes to you. It’s such a joy to see you thriving, and seeming so happy. The world is your oyster. It really is truly yours. So many of us would simply be happy to be a satellite in your world. I know it has be earned. I’d expect to be properly vetted. As with all things, it comes down to your heart. What you’re feeling. That’s the only thing that matters. I hope and I pray it tells you I’m okay. Perfect? Hardly. But that my heart is in the right place. That somehow you can sense my heart on the other side of the fence. Like that tweet you wrote on February 26 (the day my father passed away), that breathed into me new life. Although I found it so hard to believe it was for me, although I couldn’t explain it away. The someone you can’t see, and don’t really know, you wrote. But that you get a good vibe overall about the person. And you ended it with “We are soulmates.” I’m going on memory. I know soulmates can have all kinds of definitions. Believe me, after you wrote it, I looked it up to glean any additional meaning. Your words have such power. You don’t overuse them like I do, so when you say something, it’s like heavenly gold or manna. It means something. I hope somehow you could feel that way about me. Whether it’s romantic or platonic, someone big in your life, or a hello now and then. And, now I’m rambling. I hope May only carries along this feeling of you on April 30. If I take a few days off, —- ah!!! do you realize I’ve been rambling so long since your interview, you’ve now reappeared just shy of 3:30??… And there’s this energy of you! I was just lost in you, excuse me. … All right, I’ve worn myself out! I think you had written you like basketball now, well, picture me as a star in the game who has just played 4 overtimes, because each period ended in a tie! And they just keep on going! Fueled by this winning spirit as their bodies are exhausted. It’s paradise to see you. So much of you!! And you’re positively beaming! And back where you belong. Back at home away from home, where you excel! You light up the screen! I’m so happy that you’re happy. I hope to take some of that feeling, and spread it over the next few days where it will be so needed. I know I should “live in the moment,” but it also helps me to think a few months out. You probably know I love this guy Rik on YouTube and his serious astrology. I try to keep my mind open, at the very least. If it only helps psychologically, then that’s pretty good, right? Well, he says Venus is going into retrograde, so between now and early August, people will be questioning their relationships. There might be some break-ups, or a desire for something new. I have no idea if any would ever apply to you! But it keeps me looking at a picture in the future, and to not get so caught up in the day to day of things. I hope if I am always someone loving and admiring, then, who knows? Maybe someday there’ll just that moment — when you simply say, “Hey! … Remember me?” In the meantime, someone said “act like the person you love is already in your life.” I’m human, but that keeps me honest. I kinda like this guy that I’ve become. All honed and crafted and created through all this adoring of you. You’ve lit up my life! You light up my days. This most unique example ever of “social distancing!” Expressing all you do from afar, in the hope now and then something said feels especially close to your heart. You’re wonderful! I’ve written enough to get through to Christmas! I’m hoping only a few days will do! You constantly push me to be better. You inspire me! And the results are starting to be seen all around me! You’re an angel. I’ve just gushed out a million words it feels! And I still can’t get to the essence of what it is you do. I hope this austere stuff of May is worth it! I hope you see me, and say, “S—-!! He’s hot!!!” I’d settle for, “Aw, he’s cute.” I can work with either one! Smoking hot or warmest friend! A buddy, a pal. One you know would give you the shirt off his back without your even asking! Thank God you have better taste than me in clothing! Happy May! My Lord, you’ve arrived! It’s such a thrill to follow you and watch you grow. And you started kinda perfect as far I can see! Just sayin’ … I’m always just sayin’ somethin’ … when it comes to you. ❤️