That door into light! It was a lesson in illusion and fantasy. Keep your dreams, but stay in reality. You’re not lesser-than. You’re not lesser than anybody. Heal your wounds. Or, let your wounds heal. Any thoughts that agitate are akin to scratching at your skin. Leave it alone. You can do so many things! You’re beautiful, to me. Something will raise you higher. Into that rarified air where you can shine your power. No more fantasies and delusions, you cause your own pain. Nobody owes you a thing. That’s what makes it so nice when something special is given. It would never be special if they had to do it. There are so many suffering – such greater tragedies. It doesn’t mean you have to feel guilty. Just know you’re not alone. You were Leo in Shutter Island. I won’t give away the ending! But now you have the strength to know the truth. You’d rather know the cold hard facts, and feel the pain of that, than to feel lifted by the unreal. You’ve really come through!! There’ll be other days. It doesn’t have to end today. You’ve let go of the people who have hurt you. You’re strong enough to be alone, than to allow in others who never lift you. How can you allow in anyone who reminds of what you were told since you were six years old? That child is always inside you. Feed her something that lets her grow. Let in some sunshine. It’s okay to feel down today. You’re just taking measurements. Okay, here’s the bottom, you say! I’ll remember this. So I’ll enjoy just how high I’ve risen, tomorrow. I’m beautiful. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Or what they say. Not anymore. I’m special. And I know it. The words against me others have used, to make me feel lower, now echo hollow. They were talking to themselves. Those who could never offer joy. And freedom. And release. I see the chains now. And I can slip out of them. It was an illusion that I was bounded. I’m free of illusion now. That’s the best part of letting go of the fantasy. It comes with benefits that at first are not found. I love me. And I love you. That’s good enough. It will have to do. I can stand up tall, no matter how many inches God gave me. I can look you in the eye. I’m good enough. And I’m only getting better. Perhaps someday you’ll see it, too. But that’s not a concern of mine. I’ve got to go where my heart leads me. Because my heart only follows love, not words, or lack of words given. My heart is a compass leading me home. I might do great things! I might not do a thing. Everybody’s always doing something. I’ll do what my heart says to do. I’m getting good at monitoring the thoughts. I won’t allow myself to slip into fantasy. Unless it’s innocuous and soothing. But my heart will know what’s true. I’m counting on you! I’ve certainly screwed things up! Allowing my head to run the show. It’s just a secondary organ. It certainly is for me, anyway! It’s always running some movie! I don’t have to sit in that theater chair anymore. Taking in whatever it shows me. Excuse me, you say, as you move your way out of the cinema. Isn’t that always awkward? Your butt rubbing against people’s knees as they scrunch up? And readjusting their popcorn? From the cinema through the exit door, the light is blinding! It’s another world out here!! The sun is shining. A rectangular screen in a rectangular box is replaced by circles! Of trunks of trees, and a big round thing in the sky! Oh, the light it is giving. From mind to heart, you’ve made the transition. No need to be trapped in that little box. When out here there is so much appearing! When great things happen to you, when you’re noticed by ten times more people, or a new award ends up on your shelf, or you’ve published something intriguing … it won’t matter to you at all. Your journey has put it all in perspective. There’s emptiness at the bottom, and there’s emptiness at the top. You can see that. Rising doesn’t bring real happiness. It’s the same insecurities – now playing to a larger audience. More cheers, and more booing. Until forgotten, and “who cares.” I care. I’ll always love you. Success I’ve found is freeing. Success in letting go of other’s spells, the ones they tried to cast on you. The six year old in you, and the one who is eleven. The one who is twenty-two. See them. Go inside and hug them. You see how beautiful they all are. Each version of you, at every given age. Tell them how loved they are. Tell them what they so needed to hear. Be that friend who would have saved them. So they can heal, and find strength in who you are. The person you’re becoming. The beautiful being that you are. Success is in the freedom. There are no chains on me. Not anymore. I can rest with myself, and the company is good. My compass is my heart, not my mind. It knows where it wants to go. I simply need only to follow. My compass is love. On tough days, I’ll listen harder. There is something beautiful around the corner. Oh, if you only knew how loved you are. ❤️  

Happy June to you!! 🥰  

• “THERE SHE IS!!” is in e-book and paperback (search “todd demartinis” on amazon). It’s going to be okay. ☀️