Apologies! This is a very long stream-of-consciousness ramble! And I’ve run out of time to spellcheck or edit it! But for those few of you who like this stuff, here’s a Friday one! You’re amazing!! 🌟🥰  

In my little way, is there something I can say today? To bring you joy. It all comes from you, of course. Love with all your heart! With all your strength! Everyone’s divided, but your joy, it multiplies! Sing your praises gleefully. Celebrate how you’re so wonderfully different, but don’t forget we’re all the same in many ways, deep underneath it. Someday a wish will come along. Grab hold of it. If it resonates with your heart. You’re so beautiful always. My hair has grown wildly long! I won’t cut it until after the pandemic. So much for being Cary Grant. He didn’t seem much of a hippie. Well, except for all that LSD he was taking! I don’t need any of that! I got all my breakthroughs when I saw you. These deep spiritual realizations. I’ve become the old hermit in the woods in mythology. Still with hope you’ll turn me into a prince with your kiss. But time is ticking! Oh, well. It’s not so bad out here, sitting under a rock and staring at the algae. Nature’s pretty amazing! Growing lush green rug over a hardwood floor of rock! I feel like an actor in a play when they call “Places!” I’m in my spot. The faeries are over there. The scenery is gorgeous. But, where’s the princess? She’s not standing on her mark. Keep on waiting, boy. It’s “Waiting for Godot, Part 3: The Endless Pining.” Wait! I think I’ve got a pine needle stuck in my butt cheek. This isn’t comfortable at all, actually! Get me out of the woods! I’m not that old! I’m still breathing! So much for fairy tales and happy endings. The real world will sap out that joy with all its judgments and bickering. Where harsh reality seems the realest thing. Who’s got time to dream, anyway? But, oh, that’s not how it is! And you know it when things quiet down! Those moments when your mind can stop racing. When you go over words written to you recently or long ago, and you find yourself smiling secretly. Because you know you’re a princess deep down. You know you’re the Queen! You’re king of the world. This inner one, with me, or whomever it will be! Where your soul goes careening through colorful expanses that light your heart on fire with intricate dances! All this somersaulting and cartwheeling! All this other stuff that seems so real will be forgotten in a year or two or three. But, here is life everlasting. In you. The realest things are illusion after all. They get old and fall apart. What seems so important today, will only be a memory in someone else’s mind when they read about you someday. Like those old videos on YouTube! Watching folks on busy streets of New York City in 1911! Almost 110 years ago!! Or so many videos like it! You freeze it! You look deeply at the faces! So many of them!! Each one on their way to somewhere, looking so important. Each body has a mind filled with important thoughts! Of all these important things it must be doing! Getting from A to B. And those bodies are all gone now! Each this beautiful life! Each one given a brain to filter consciousness, that says, “I, Me, My.” Where are they now? Playing on some futuristic device 120 years later. So many with names we can’t place to them. It kinda puts things in perspective!! This has been going on forever!! Who cares about an aging boy in love with the most beautiful young woman who has ever, ever lived!! *See?? I’ve even scoured old videos, so I know what I’m talking about!! There has *never* been anyone as beautiful as you! I’ve *checked!!* But all these beautiful faces nevertheless. All caught up in their own dreams, as they should be, I guess. A billion minds all saying they are correct, and yet the world is suffering. Where was I going with this? Oh! YOU!! You reappeared in a new location! “How did she get there?” “Maybe she drove!! With her sweetest doggie! All the way cross country!! Those prayers when she felt far away, maybe they helped just a *little* after all.” You’re so sensational. Wherever it is you show. You shine. You’re a valentine, for the masses!! For those who never fell in love with another and lonesome when that day arrives, they can send them to you! Like Goddess Mary in the sky! You’re the love unrequited. You shower those with blessings who wish upon your star. A sacred prayer never goes unanswered. The answer always arrives, one way or another! Oh, to get lost in your eyes. You’re the patron saint of the lonely. When nothing in the world was ever good enough, they fall in love with you, because you’re that inviting. DaVinci was just some old Italian dude! No offense to him, but even he couldn’t dream up anyone so beautiful as you. Too spectacular to be true! And yet there you are. Appearing larger than life on 75-inch screens. But it’s what you do to a heart. That’s where the big stuff happens. You. You’re so lovely I’m afraid it can’t properly be expressed. You simply must be experienced. Oh, the feelings are overwhelming. What you do to a man, who had thought he’d seen everything. Turns out he’d seen nothing, until the day he saw you. Oh, if he could do it all over again! If only he had known you existed! He would have gone to journalism school! And worked harder than any other person around him! And he’d have bought a network! And put you right at the top of the board! Rounded out by all women! Ahead of the curve! And no seedy stuff going on! No stuff that makes the heart sink lower. Of old boy’s clubs turned frat houses, and abuses of power where victims are victimized twice. Once with the act, and then again in the court of public opinion. In a world of coldness and false narratives and double standards. I can feel harsh winds blowing when I put myself there. In that energy. Of how it must feel. I pray you’re always protected from grossness. (Not the most eloquent prayer, I know!) Of little Harvey Weinsteins who mask themselves with pictures of family, and projecting this image of goodness. All the while trying to set up a rendezvous where they could possibly get you alone. It must get so tiring at times to be a woman in this world. Where we pretend things are better, but people are still covering their tracks all over. And the innocent are often persecuted, while the monsters win more awards and become self-appointed arbiters of right behavior. The truth always comes out eventually, but often long after the actors have left the stage for good. Oh, what a world! This harsh one we live in! I pray you’re always protected from all that. Sometimes it’s not so bad to be the wizened old man living in the woods! In somebody else’s fairy dream. Whose only power is to be powerless over you! With that comes his strength. There’s a lot of irony in fairy tales. And for good reason! Irony is the reminder that life isn’t often as it seems. You’re the princess and the king and the queen! It’s all in you. It’s you who holds the magic wand, not me. You have immeasurable power within you. It can’t be seen or touched, but, oh, wow, can it be felt! This protected place in you, bigger and realer than all that could ever surround you. You have all the winning moves on the chessboard in front of you. Even if you’re not good at chess, it doesn’t matter. You’re bigger than all that! You use your intuition when holding the piece, and it guides you where to move it. You’re so great, you can even step away from the table and knock the whole board across the place! Pieces and all! If you do it, it’s the right thing to do. You’re bigger than the room! You think outside the box! You can do anything at all! You have so many choices. “Where’s he going with all this?” I don’t know. I tend to ramble. The point is, you’re beautiful. Nobody’s ever seen power like yours. You change the lives of people who have never met you. Where nobody else could do that before. And that goes for the people who come after you. The harshest world that feels realest, sometimes is the least real of all. You’ll know if it ever comes with a feeling of emptiness. What’s real is your smile. And your laughter. These timeless parts of you. I get lost there when I look into your eyes. They’re the portals. That awaken mere mortals such as I. (Or, is it “me?”) Either way, I lose my “I, me, mine” when lost in your energy. I don’t know what love holds, but I know who holds love. It’s the primary feeling that’s felt when you shine into view. You have such a purity. And truth about you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve ever done or haven’t. It’s sacred in you. It’s protected. Any experience of any kind only strengthens the wall around it. This shining golden light. I see it in you all the time. It’s timeless. It’s you. Take it from a guy who knows what he’s talking about on these things. I don’t see golden auras around just anybody, you know! The only time I ever saw it before was when my soulmate partner, Bullseye, died. He was a god. I typed “dog,” but it autocorrected to “god.” Maybe he was both in a way. He came to me when I had nothing in 2005. He arrived in my life after my father had died, the only person I ever felt that genuine warmth from, after he made peace with his own devils. I was alone in the world. Or at least it felt like that. He had one brown eye, and one shining blue! He was my good luck charm, a title I’ve since bestowed onto you. Wealth and good things happened, but with the reminder those things are outpourings. They’re not really real. It’s the love that is. But then it’s so big it’s just got to spread around everywhere! Even into the material sphere. Well, when he died in 2015, he was on a mattress on the floor in the living room, where I slept with him. He couldn’t take stairs anymore or jump up on the bed. He was probably 13, and had lived somewhat longer than most of his breed (American Bulldog rescue). And I had been sinking to my lowest ebb. And he had been lying there in a deep sleep for about a day, and I said, “I can’t bring myself to do it. But if this goes on, I know I have to take him to the vet tomorrow. And come home alone.” And the moment came, I just knew it, although he hadn’t moved. And this experience came over. It’s hard to explain, but the room – not the whole room – it started in the corner. Above the living room closet. This gold and blue haze started appearing. I wasn’t on anything, I promise! And it slowly started filling the room. The whole place took on this different hue. The air was thicker, I guess. And, the strangest part, I had this *knowing* in that moment. That whatever I said right at that time, he would understand it. It’s so hard to explain it. So I started talking to him. Like most dogs, he only knew a few words! But I knew I could tell him anything right now, and he would understand it! Why we had to move! Or any of those things where we say, “I wish I make him understand why some things were a certain way.” And I started explaining them all, knowing that moment was a golden portal. And I *felt* he was hearing every one of them. That he understood! And that haze was all about the room. I realized he was in it now. Where he could understand everything! And there was this gentle love. And, then, out of nowhere, he finally moved and lifted his head, and took a last breath. And he died there. And I lost it and begged for that gold and blue haze to stay, because I knew he was in it. But slowly it moved back toward that corner above the closet door in the living room. And the light returned to normal. And I was left only with his body. I was unconsolable for days. Weeks. He was my soulmate, I called him. And that’s when my drinking got worse. I could do whatever I wanted thanks to a few good investments. And I went off the rails. Then finally quit it all almost four years ago. But that memory is the most profound, because I know it was real. It’s as real – if not realer – than any memory from my whole life. Those ones we don’t talk about often because we know people will think we’re crazy. But that really happened. Exactly as I said it, and no exaggerating. I’ll never forget that *knowing* that he could understand my words at that moment, like my soul saying, “Tell him now! Tell him everything!” And I did. And with no indication, that’s when he woke up and took that breath and passed away. It was preceded and ended with that blue and golden haze that entered the room. I had never experienced anything like it. Never before, and never since. Except for you. I always saw this glimmer of a blue and gold haze around you when I saw you. I’ve written about it in these 1,200 pages so many times over. Now that doesn’t mean anything, of course! But, for me, maybe it’s the divine saying, “Here’s some more beauty for you. That you also thought never existed.” I know you saved me, though. You both did. I wouldn’t have made it through without him. And I wouldn’t have made it through without you. As silly and strange as it is. So I never doubt that there’s *something.* Oh, I’m so far beyond that stuff! There have been too many experiences. Too much magic. And gold and blue in the ether. Touching the deepest part of a heart. So I know you’re special. I’ve seen it. I don’t know much about anything. But I know what I’m talking about on this. You’re the most special person there could ever be! You have such power. You’re a goddess to me. And if you are to me, I’m not the only person in this theater. You are for everybody. Nothing’s going to touch you, or get to the light in you. It’s protected. You can do anything you wish in this world. You’ve already proven it. I hope you never let fear get to you. Is the fire afraid of the wood? That’s how much power is in you. I hope that’s always understood. And these are words you probably don’t even need to hear! Not now. But someday, if you ever do, they’re here for you as a reminder. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. That’s something that isn’t changing. Believe me, I know. You’re loved so inexpressibly. There have been all these invisible strings all along. If you look back at your life, you can almost see how they’ve connected. So it would be a waste of energy now to ever let fear get in the way. Of course there’s been a plan for you. And there are so many wonderful things in store! They often come just after life feels its darkest. But, I know you. You’ll get through! You’re a diamond. You bring so much happiness!! People waking up and their first thought is, What will she do today!! You’re the Sun like that. For so many. They find their strength in you when they haven’t got any. And you make them better than they were before. It’s a life well lived. And you’ve got so much more in store! You’re someone to be treasured. You’re sparkling!! Oh, you are. You do. You’re carried along by a golden umbilical! All this light you give! It returns to you. You’re the source of it. If I might say this from myself, and on behalf of so many others who have been touched by you, “I love you.” You’ll do wonderfully. You always will. ❤️  

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Happy Friday! Happy weekend! You’re more beautiful than ever! I don’t know how you do it! You’re amazing. ☀️🍀😌